Sunday, July 5, 2009

Arizona!!

I'm still busy. I have pictures that go along with my busyness, but don't want to take the time to load them and write about them right now. Instead I will share a list that was chain-e-mailed to me many, many years ago. I am usually not a fan of chain e-mails. In fact, they annoy me greatly. But this list was so dead-on accurate in its portrayal of my favorite state that I saved it. This list has survived three computer crashes and upgrades and still rings true today.


So, without further ado, here's the list. My observations and comments are in blue.




You Know You're From Arizona When...



1. You buy salsa by the gallon.
And it's usually freshly made salsa. Yum!



2. Your Christmas decorations include sand and one hundred paper bags.
My family never did this, but Hubby's did. They also used them at Halloween.



3. You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
We got that trait from our California neighbors. ;)



4. None of your out-of-state friends visit during their summer vacations.
But you can visit them!



5. You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.
This IS clever! They are used in the summer when getting into your car during the day is the same as getting into your oven. And touching your steering wheel is the same as touching an oven rack. I used socks for a long time, but they were too thin and my hands would still get burned. Oven mitts never fail.



6. Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los".
Mexican restaurants with authentic Mexican food. Yum! I didn't truly appreciate this until I lived in Kansas and was subjected to their version of "Mexican" food. Yuck!



7. You think sixty tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.
Rock yards dot the Arizona landscape. But this Arizona Native prefers grass and citrus trees and is currently trying to remove 12 tons of red rocks from her yard.



8. You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
This is not a joke. It can really happen. And it is funny to watch...as long as it's not happening to YOU!



9. Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
My current house is made of stucco, but we have a pink clay tile roof. *shudders* Pink is not my favorite color. I'd prefer a blue-gray clay tile roof. Oh well. My last two Arizona houses were made of brick and had shingle roofs. That's what houses in Arizona used to be made of.



10. You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think your clearing your throat.
Say it with me: "Hoe-Hoe-Come" although some people pronounce it "Hoe-Hoe-Cam" like camera. But those people are wrong. Don't believe me? Look it up. :)



11. You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
I associate bridges and rivers in Arizona with water, but not as constant running things. They were the back-up for when we had heavy rains and flash floods. The rivers were lucky to have a trickle once a year. And a true run of water maybe once every ten years...when those flash floods hit and hit hard. For the majority of the year, they were dry and dusty places. It wasn't until we moved to Kansas that I saw bridges over constant running water. Filled brooks, creeks, rivers, and streams. It was an amazing sight to behold. And all I could think was, I hope they are stock-piling that against a drought for next year. Haha! A Kansas "drought" had more rain than three or four years of Arizona rain combined.



12. You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.
This would make me so mad. You do not waste water in Arizona. On a side-note, in Kansas the majority of the people I met didn't even know what irrigation was! And when I tried to explain it, they thought I was crazy. Haha!



13. You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
A swamp cooler can be your best friend in the summer.



14. You can say "115 degrees" without fainting.
115 is easy! It's when the temperature hits 120 then decides to stay there for a few weeks that you're in trouble. Haha! I'm just kidding. We all know that 120 is easy too. ;)



15. Every other vehicle is a 4x4.
Does this need an explanation?



16. You can be in the snow ad then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees.
One of the best parts of Arizona! You could snow ski and water ski on the same day!



17. Vehicles with open windows have the right of way in the summer.
I think this one is pretty self-explanatory too, but just in case...Vehicles with their windows rolled down in summer usually don't have working air conditioners. Because we don't want the occupants of said vehicle to die by baking to death, they have the right of way.



18. People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70 degrees.
Um, Yeah we do! 70 degrees is COLD!



19. You discover in July that it only takes two fingers to drive your car (see #5).
Unless you were smart enough to bring your oven mitts with you. But make sure not to leave the mitts in the car. Otherwise they will be too hot for you to wear.



20. The pool can be warmer than you are.
Who needs a jacuzzi?



21. Your run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
I have not been guilty of this one. Mainly because I've never had a house with a fireplace. But if I did, I would totally run my fans and air conditioner just to use the fireplace.



22. Most homes have more firearms than people.
So? This is said like it's a bad thing...



23. Kids will ask, "What is a mosquito?"
Mosquitoes don't like the dry heat of the desert. However, pools and other standing water have brought more mosquitoes to Arizona. Yuck!



24. People who have black cars or black upholstery in the car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state.
Or they're assumed to be insane. Black attracts heat. Same goes for almost black cars like forest green and navy blue. Arizonans tend to dive white or light-colored cars.



25. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Oh Yeah! Even if it's only a patch of shade 2 inches by 5 inches. Any and all shade will be used.



26. The AC is on your list of best friends.
I know it's on my list!



27. Monday night football starts before you get off work.
And any games played in the Phoenix area have to start in the afternoon so the East coasters can watch the show without having to stay up into the wee hours of the morning.



28. You know that valley fever isn't a disco dance.
It is most definitely not a disco dance. And it is not a laughing matter. It kills several people every year, mostly targeting the elderly and young children.



29. You can finish a Big Gulp in one minute and go back for seconds.
Big Gulp found exclusively at 7-Eleven. Holds 32 ounces of cool liquid refreshment.



30. The water from the cold tap is the same temperature as the hot one.
Well, at least we don't have to wait for the shower to warm up.



31. You can (correctly) pronounce the words: saguaro, ocotillo, Tempe, Gila Bend, Tucson, San Xavier, Canyon de Chelly, Mogollon Rim, cholla, and Ajo.
I would tell you how to pronounce these words, but then you might try to impersonate an Arizonan and I certainly don't want to help anyone trying to be tricky. ;)



32. It's July, it's noon, kids are on summer vacation and not one person is walking on the street.
Are you kidding? Of course no one is out! They would melt into a puddle of goo! Or die of heat exhaustion! Or dehydration! No joke!!

I've got to confess that when I first saw kids in Kansas playing outside in the afternoon in the summer, I seriously thought about calling child protective services on their parents.


33. You experience third degree burns if you touch any metal part of your car.
Rose still has a mark on her leg from when she was two and a seat belt buckle got her. That was a bad day. No third degree burns, but a pretty bad first degree bordering on second. :(


34. You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you are wearing shorts.
Doesn't everyone know this? First off, you will burn your legs on the hot leather. And then you will be forced to sit and endure the burn because your hot, sticky legs will have permanently glued themselves to the leather seats. Ugh!


35. Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with "in case of rain...".
Actually, no events ever end with "in case of rain..." It rarely rains here. And when it does, people freak out. It is hilarious to watch!


36. Footprints in asphalt.
This one is fun to do, as long as you have shoes on. In the summer it gets so hot that the asphalt gets soft. Especially the new tar spots. You can literally stick your foot on certain spots and make a footprint. It usually goes away after a few minutes, but while it's there...totally cool!



37. When someone asks how far you live from a location it's always in terms of minutes, not miles.
Duh!


38. Everyone is smiling and talking about the great weather on rainy days.
Everyone except the Snow-Birds. It's makes their old bones and joints ache.


39. If you haven't worked for Motorola at some point then you must be a newcomer.
Even though it's considerably downsized, it played a large part in Arizona industry. If you haven't worked there, odds are that someone you are related to has.


40. You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is not Daylight Savings Time.
For those out-of-staters reading this, here's the explanation: Arizona doesn't need Daylight Savings Time. We don't need to Save Daylight. We have plenty of it. For example, on the day of Winter Solstice (the shortest day of the year) the Arizona sun rises at 7:30 am and sets at 5:30 pm. On the day of Summer Solstice (the longest day of the year) the Arizona sun rises at 6:15 am and sets at 8:45 pm. See. No need to save Daylight. However, we do have extensive programs in place to save water...

6 comments:

Michelle Johnston said...

Amen sister! That was a funny pass along. I'm glad you guys are enjoying AZ! Enjoy some for us while we're stuck out here in the humidity:) We'll be there for a visit next week though!

Beary Bee said...

Ba ha ha ha ha!!! I love you! And miss you.... Josh and I are thinking about coming to see you and possibly go to San Diego sometime before the baby comes. I vote you and your childrens come too!!

Christina said...

Although I'm not from Arizona, I can totally relate to most of this. I think we get even less rain in Vegas than you do in AZ and I used to wear my mittens in the summer just so I could touch the steering wheel, never thought of oven mitts though.

Nancy Face said...

Such truth!

I actually DO obey red lights, and I'm an Arizona native! Amazing, eh?

I am IN LOVE with my swamp cooler!

My cold tap is actually HOTTER than my hot tap. No joke! >:(

Meredith said...

haha! This is SO funny! Oh love! Hey, when i come home, may i visit you?

Angela said...

How funny! Love it. Oven mitts though? Srsly? lol...glad you liked the pics, I had a great time doing the play, thanks for the compliments!