Adios Amiga

My heart is feeling so sad and conflicted right now.

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This morning I attended my final CFT meeting with Miss Q. The Baby Jim and I took her, along with the remainder of her possessions, to the meeting. We had taken her dog and the majority of her belongings to her Mom's place a week ago. At the meeting, I turned in all of my paperwork, handed over Miss Q's birth certificate, social security card, and immunization records. Then I handed the darling girl back to her Mom.

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It was hard.

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Harder than I had anticipated.

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Handing over Mr. J was not this hard.

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I think a lot of that has to do with who took custody of Mr. J. He wasn't returned home. He was placed with his Great-Aunt. A marvelous woman. She works hard, maintains employment, is kind & compassionate, and has her head on straight. I really do not worry about Mr. J's physical or emotional well-being while he is in her care. She has proven herself strong and capable. I know he's okay. I know he's loved. I know he will be taken care of in absolutely every facet of his life.

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Miss Q's placement, I'm not so sure of.

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As I was turning things over and explaining different appointments and expectations to Miss Q's Mom, my heart grew heavy with worry. I've met with her Mom before. I know how her Mom is. I know that the woman does love her daughter. But actually handing over Miss Q to her care...It was hard to walk away.

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The only thing that is helping is knowing that this placement is what Miss Q wants

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The girl has wanted to return home so badly for such a long time. She didn't think it would be possible until she turned eighteen. She worked hard. And with a little help from our family, she was able to achieve her goal. She is thrilled to be returning to her Mother's care.

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And I am happy for her. Really. I am.

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I'm happy that she is getting her wish. I'm happy that she is happy. But I am also so, so worried.

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I told her to be sure to use me for one of her emergency contacts, especially since most times they want a contact who is not related or living in the same house. I told her to call me any time if she needed help and Hubby or I would be there as quick as can be. I've told her I love her and that I am planning on always being in her life.

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But I am so worried.

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And I kind of miss that crazy teenage girl.