Bravo, Mr. President. Bravo!

As I was reading the news of the day, I came across this article:


http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/jan/7/us-redefines-rape-count-more-people-victims/


President Obama and Vice President Biden are helping our country to take a step forward in the fight against violent crimes! The Associated Press reports:


"The Obama administration says it is expanding the FBI's more than eight-decade-old definition of rape to reflect a better understanding of the crime and to broaden protections."


I have seen the devastating impact that rape can have on an individual. I've worked with women who have been raped, been friends with women who were sexually abused as children. The way that a girl or woman starts to define themselves by that horrific event in their life. And the bitterness and self-loathing that can occur when the responsibility for the crime is pushed back on them or when the crime is not taken seriously.


Throughout history, the punishment for rape has varied greatly.  Some rapists have been viewed simply as playboys, whose charms women just can't refuse. The thought-process here is that the woman wanted it.


Other times, rape is viewed as a proposal. Remember that terrible book I read...Tess of the D'Ubervilles?? Tess was supposed to marry her rapist. What a frightening prospect!!


In many Greek stories, the woman raped was faulted. Think of the story of Zeus and Europa. Their relationship started with a rape. But it's okay because he is a god?? And she went on to have his children??  Because being raped by a god and getting pregnant makes rape a perfectly fine activity??
In another Greek story, a god, Poseidon, comes upon a beautiful mortal woman worshiping in the temple of Athena. The woman is so beautiful that he cannot help himself and immediately ravishes her...In the Temple! Athena, the Virgin Goddess, is furious that her temple has been desecrated with sex. But does she go after her uncle? Does she blame him? Nope. She blames the girl, punishing her by turning her beautiful long hair into writhing snakes. Yep. Poor Medusa was raped and instead of being comforted, her hair was turned into snakes and any guy who looked at her was turned to stone. Serves her right for being so beautiful...GAG!


Dinah's story in the Old Testament follows Tess's pattern of proposal. Dinah's, daughter of Leah and Jacob, sister to the Twelve Tribes of Israel, rapist thought to marry her. Her story is found in Genesis chapters 33 and 34. While her father seemed willing to go along with the marriage idea, her brothers had different plans. You can read the story yourself. The main point here is that the rapist is actually punished in this story...And quite extremely at that! 


(By the way, I thoroughly enjoyed this scripture study's insight into that story. Much food for thought.)


Early America viewed rape similar to Levi and Simeon. It was a crime that ought to be punished. I could honestly go on and on as the examples and variety of consequences are plentiful throughout history. But the topic is quite painful for many people, and I don't want to draw out this terrible thing.


What I want is to state emphatically that rape is not something the victim wanted. It is not, and never should be seen as, a proposal to marriage. And it is not the fault of the victim.


The article gives details of how the definition is being revised and expanded:


"The revised definition covers any gender of victim or attacker and includes instances in which the victim is incapable of giving consent because of the influence of drugs or alcohol or because of age. Physical resistance is not required."


This revision by the FBI is HUGE!!!


Many states have taken great strides in the past decades to broaden their definitions of rape. They have expanded their protection of the girls, women, boys, and men who fall victim to this heinous crime. They have made the punishments more severe for the perpetrators. Their efforts have led to a decrease the incidence of rape.


I am so pleased that President Obama and his administration are updating their definition. It has been a long time coming and is a positive step forward in the fight against this atrocious crime. Bravo, Mr. President! Bravo!!

Say What?

I took Joe and Anne to see the pediatrician for their annual check-up. This is their first Well Child Check with this doctor. Doc wanted to do a TB test on both kids. They were less than thrilled, but bravely held still for the nurse to administer the skin test.


Two days later we returned to the Doc's office to have the tests read. Joe and Anne both tested positive for TB. Hooray! The nurse was quite taken aback. I told her that their dad always tests positive too. The nurse started laughing then. "Lucky them!" she said. "They never have to get that yucky skin test again." I agreed. They are lucky kids! Hahaha!


Anyone who has ever tested positive knows that the next step is a chest x-ray. The x-ray shows if the individual really has TB or if they are a false-positive-reacting-type person.


So we head downstairs to the imaging lab. The gal at the front directs me to sign in on the "Walk-In" side. I ask her how long the wait is. She tells me about thirty minutes. I say alright, we'll go ahead and do this now. And I sign in. Then I have this odd conversation with her...


Gal: "You can sit down." (pause) "I call you right now."


Me: "You'll call me right now? Great!" (and I stand there smiling at her)


Gal: (looking at me weird) "You can go sit down. I call you right now."


Me: (still standing there) "Oh good. Here's my insurance card. Did you want my driver's license too?"


Gal: (slightly exasperated for reasons unknown to me) "No. You go sit down. I call you right now."


Me: "Wait. What? You want me to go sit down?"


Gal: "Yes." (smiling cause she thinks I understand what she is saying now) "You go sit down. I call you right now to get your information."


Me: "What? You'll call me right now. Well, I'm here. Here's my information." (and I try to give her my insurance card again)


Gal: (looking exasperated again) "No. Go sit down. I call you right now."


Me: (really feeling confused because why in the world am I going to sit down when she is calling me right now) "Why would I sit down? You said you are calling me right now."


Gal: "Yes. Right now I call you. Go sit down."


Me: (comprehension slowly dawning on me) "You keep telling me you'll call me 'right now'. 'Right now' means this very instant. Is that what you mean? That you are calling me 'right now'? Or do you mean something else? How long do you mean when you say 'right now'?


Gal: (looks like she is trying to be patient with me cause I obviously don't understand plain English) "Yes. Right now. Like five minutes I call you right now. Go sit down and I call you right now."


Me: (feeling really confused) "Oh. Okay, we'll just go sit down."


Gal: (sighs in relief that I have finally left her counter)




My Dear Friends, Can one of you please explain to me when the meaning of "Right Now" changed from "this very instant" to "In five minutes"?


Hahahaha!!!


Living in the town I live in, I should be used to the idiosyncrasies that exist. But I tell you, this "right now" one is brand new to me. :)

Regular Visiting Teaching

I got a new visiting teaching route this month. I have a new companion and new gals to visit. Of the three gals assigned, two had phone numbers listed. Of those numbers, one actually worked. I left a message for that sister. Didn't hear back.


I searched for phone numbers for the other two sisters, but came up empty handed.


So...My new companion and I decided to do scouting visits.


I typed up the message for the month, put a nice "Hello" message at the top along with mine and my companion's phone numbers, and printed it on bright green paper. Bright green paper is lots easier to see than plain old white paper. I figured if no one was home, I'd tape the message to their front door. And once I knew where they lived, I could come back at different times to try and meet each sister.


My new companion picked me up about 9:15 this morning. We stopped at a bakery on our way out and bought a cinnamon roll far each lady. Why? Because Baked Goodies have magical, mystical powers. Some gals do not like surprise visits from church ladies. Some gals find it rude and decide that they do not like you and will never like you and further more they now do not like the church even more. BUT, if those church ladies come to a gal's house bearing baked goodies, they are usually forgiven for their surprise attack and welcomed into the gal's home. As I said, baked goodies are magic!


We got to the first gal's house and had quite an eye-opening experience. I won't go into the details here for obvious reasons. (In case you don't know what the obvious reason is, I will spell it out for you...p-r-i-v-a-c-y.) The thing I will share here is that this gal seems to not have had visiting teachers for YEARS.


The second gal we visited wasn't home. As I was debating whether to tape my message to her garage door or stick it under the windshield wiper of her guy's work truck, a neighbor came to see what we were doing. I explained that I was looking for the gal. He informed me that the truck was his. He was parking it at her house to make it look like someone was still living there. The gal herself had moved out several months earlier. She was now living in a town four hours away. 


This gal had only been baptized a year earlier. She should have had super-visiting teachers coming to see her for a year after her baptism to help her with the transition. I don't know what happened there. What I do know is that she has been gone for several months and her visiting teachers failed to report that. Which most likely means that her visiting teachers were not visiting her.


I couldn't believe that these two gals, who so obviously needed the love and support of visiting teachers, were passed over. I expressed my disappointment to my companion. She told me that she really hadn't had visiting teachers the whole time she has lived in this town either. She told me there was one lady who came to see her every so often (not the regular monthly visiting teaching), but that lady (I know for a fact) moved out of our ward over a year ago. This means that my companion hasn't had visiting teachers for over a year! And she is another one who could have really used the love and support of a visiting teacher.

We got to the third gal's house at that point. She was home and invited us in. We had a nice visit. She was so happy to have us in her home. And she was glad to see the treat, but even more excited to see the little handout I had made with our phone numbers on it. She seemed delighted when we told her to call us anytime she needed help.

Since returning home, I have been thinking long and hard about visiting teaching in my life. I try so hard to visit my ladies. I have since I was eighteen years old and was first given the calling of visiting teacher.

The first two years I lived in this ward, I had the same companion, Sister S. She and I tried to do an in-home visit every month. Sister S was kind of shy, so I was the one who usually made the appointments. If the gals we visited weren't available for an in-home visit, I asked them when was a good time for me to call back and just chat. I let them know that I was interested in them and their lives.


Sister S and I had one gal who just wouldn't commit to visits, so we surprise visited her more often than not, bearing baked goodies of course! We would only stay for a few minutes, but we CAME! We did our best to show her that she was important to us.

My companion was moved to a different route during the third year. I was on my own for a few months, but continued to contact my sisters every month. Now there were a couple of times when I was only able to call them because our schedules were crazy, but I contacted them one way or another every month! I can't same the same of the gals who were assigned to visit me. I can probably count on my fingers the number of times a visiting teacher has actually come to my home to visit me or purposely called to visit with me. This is kind of sad considering that I have lived in this same ward for three years. I'm not writing this because I'm mad or feel left out or anything. I know life gets busy. I'm not trying to judge.

I just wonder...what has become of Visiting Teaching?


And what will become of the women who are forgotten and overlooked in my little town?

3DT (aka DDDT)

Have you noticed that most families have a "saying"? Some small phrase that is repeated often within the family. A saying that helps keep the family grounded and focused on their familial goals.

One saying popular with LDS families is "Return With Honor". This saying reminds family members that the things they do outside the home matter. It encourages them to do good and strive hard in the outside world, so that when they return home, they will return with honor.

A saying popular with Christian families is "What Would Jesus Do?". Family members, when faced with choosing between various options,  should ask themselves this question then proceed as Jesus would. This saying helps family members to mirror Jesus' actions, his charity and compassion.

Another saying used in Christian homes is "Wise Men Still Seek Him". This saying lets family members, and others know, that if they wish to be truly wise, they should seek for Christ.

A fun saying that I often seen adorning the walls of friends' homes is "Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much". This saying encourages family members to truly enjoy their lives and live those lives to the fullest.

In my childhood home, the saying was  "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." My Mom had even cross-stitched this scripture, framed it, and hung it on the wall in plain sight of all. In our family, there was great focus on truly following the Lord and learning to serve his children here on earth.

I appreciate these sayings. I think there is great wisdom in each. However, none can compare to the effectiveness of the saying that Hubby grew up with. This saying was no mamby-pamby, feel-good phrase. There was no positive spin, no uplifting words...Just straight-forward commonsense.

Now, I have to admit, when I first heard this saying, I was shocked. I couldn't believe that Hubby's Dad had actually said what he said. I was appalled by his lack of compassion and his blatant disregard for other's feelings. But over the years, I have come to understand and appreciate the true wisdom of this simple phrase.

Don't Do Dumb Things

Hubby's family usually referred to this phrase by its acronym: 3DT (pronounced Three, Dee, Tee).

As Hubby and his siblings were walking out the door to various activities, their Dad would call out, 3DT! Reminding them to, obviously, Not do dumb things.

This amazingly simple, yet powerful phrase has been employed in the Blue Household for the last few years. You would be astounded by the effectiveness! 

Now, I feel it important to note that in our home we never call a person dumb. There is a palpable distinction made between a person's actions and that person as a whole. My undergraduate degree focused on child development and psychology. I know how detrimental it can be to a child's fragile psyche to be called dumb, especially by their parents. That is part of the reason that I was so appalled when I first heard this saying.

We have emphasized through lecture, modeling, and role play the difference between a person and their actions. Hubby's parents made the distinction too. And it because of this distinction that the saying works.

Our kids know that we know they are super-intelligent. They know we love them and will love them no matter what. They know that they will make mistakes, lots of mistakes. They also know that their mistakes don't define them. We can learn from those dumb mistakes and do better in the future.

On a Side Note: Making the distinction between actions and a person's self-worth was one of the best things we did for our foster daughter, Miss Q. In previous homes she had been called dumb, stupid, retarded, slow, and so on. In our home she was called an intelligent, bright, loving, and wonderful girl who occasionally made mistakes. The change this distinction wrought in her psyche was PHENOMENAL!!

By now you are probably asking yourselves, why the long essay on sayings and 3DT?

Well, that is the background you need to truly appreciate Joe's story.

Papa (Hubby's Dad) came to visit a couple weeks ago during the kids' fall break from school. Papa has been very sad since his wife died. We tried to plan things that would take Papa's mind off Grandma and to do things that he liked.

One day, while Hubby was at work, I made Papa his favorite lunch...Pimento Cheese Sandwiches. He was so tickled! After lunch the kids and I were going to take him to a Mormon Battalion Memorial and show him our favorite park. When the kids finished eating, I instructed them to use the bathroom and get their shoes on because we were leaving in twenty minutes. Simple task, right?  WRONG!

After just a few minutes I hear a crash, followed by a wail. A minute later, a crying Joe enters the kitchen followed closely by Rose who is talking a mile a minute, trying to explain what happened and how it wasn't her fault.  The short story, Cakes and Joe were in the bathroom (yes, at the same time...apparently boys can pee at the same time if they stand on different sides of the toilet. please don't ask me to delve any further into that scenario as it usually involves me cleaning urine off the floor at a later time). The door was Wide Open. The boys had finished and were washing their hands. For some reason, Joe, who is tall enough to reach the sink without a stool, felt the need to stand on the toilet. Maybe it was the fact that Cakes was standing on a stool...I just don't know.

Anyhoo, Rose walked down the hall, past the open bathroom door. Seeing her two younger brothers, she made a split-second decision to scare them. She turned, made a scary face, and growled. I'm not sure what Cakes reaction was since I am still unable to fully decipher his sentences. But Joe's reaction was to attempt an escape by jumping from the toilet lid to the bathtub...The rim of the bathtub. Naturally, the rim was slippery and the boy slipped. He tried to catch himself with his right hand, which didn't work, and crashed into the tub, crushing his right forearm.

I wasn't sure how serious the injury was, but knew a sure fire way to find out. After a severe lecture to Rose on not trying to scare people in the bathroom and and a milder lecture to Joe on not standing on toilets and not trying to jump to bathtub rims (not once citing 3DT), I loaded everyone into the van and proceeded to the park as planned. A kid with a serious injury will nurse the area while a kid whose just bumped or bruised will forget everything as soon as they reach the slides.

Joe was nursing his injury. Gingerly holding it as he went down the slides and avoiding the monkey bars altogether. It was starting to look like he had a serious injury.

When we returned home, Joe and Cakes ran out back to play. Cakes, being the mischievous little punk that he is, turned on the hose and aimed directly for Joe. Joe leaped out of the way, tripped over his feet in the process, and landed on his already injured right arm. And then he turned into a pile of goo! He literally curled into a ball and sobbed!  Oh, my poor little guy!

I quickly put the baby down and rushed over to help Joe. I scooped the boy up, brought him inside, and laid him on the couch. When he had calmed down some, he turned to me and in between sniffs said:

"Mom, don't tell me 3DT about falling down 'cause that was a axe-dent and axe-dents aren't dumb their just axe-dents and if you say it was dumb then you're being mean. So don't be mean to me, 'cause I just don't feel good and my arm hurts and it was a axe-dent. Okay?"

I quickly agreed, gave him a kiss on the head, and high-tailed it out of the living room. As soon as I was out of his ear-shot I laughed and laughed and laughed.

That poor little guy. He was such a pitiful little mess of a kid at the moment, but he still had the wherewithal to recognize his own emotional needs and, in an attempt to avoid adding insult to injury, express those emotional needs to me in a way that showed he understood where he had done wrong earlier and to illustrate that no wrongs had occurred this time round. I was proud of him for voicing his concerns and asking for the things he needed. I was also proud of the depth of understanding he had shown. But, it was so unexpected and framed in such a poor, pitiful way that all I could do was laugh. Oh well, at least I didn't laugh where he could hear me.

It guess this just goes to show that the boy is paying attention as we try to teach him...at least, sometimes. The ironic thing was that this all happened when Papa was there. But he didn't say 3DT either. Come on people! We're not cruel!! ;)

The diagnosis for the darling Joe, a buckle fracture in the distal radius. Translation: He a broken right arm. Poor guy. At least he's left-handed. :)

The darling boy sporting a cast in his favorite color.

A Close-Up of the Cast

Hello Again

It's been several weeks since my last post. I'm not the most consistent blogger. Many times, when I sit down to type, I feel guilty for not spending that time elsewhere...in more productive ways. After all, I do have a big house to clean and maintain; five kids to feed, clothe, teach, and entertain; and a myriad of unfinished projects to complete.

I'm also about five years behind in Memory Books. I've kept up with the births of my children, but not their birthdays, Christmas, Easter, or growth and development. And a nagging little voice always reminds me of these facts each time I sit down at my computer to update this blog.

As I sit here now, my kitchen is in shambles, clean laundry is piled high on the couches, dirty laundry lies in piles around my living room, my floor is covered in candy wrappers, and my bed is covered with Halloween costumes. There are so many things that I could be, probably should be doing. And yet here I sit.

Because I realized...I get more done when I think somebody cares about what I'm doing.

Yes, yes. I know that Hubby and the kids care. But it's not the same as having a girlfriend who cares and sympathizes and cheers one on. And let's face it, I am a slow one to make friends. It takes years for me to feel comfortable with others and to truly develop trust and friendship. Blogging helps me stay connected to those dear friends and family members that live far away.

This past month, I purposely avoided blogging. I listened to that nagging, guilt-filled voice. And you know what? My house isn't any cleaner and I've only made a teeny little dent in the projects galore. The only thing that changed was my heart...I have felt so lonely and isolated this past month. And instead of creating more time for myself, I felt as though I had less time and more work than ever!

Looking back, I've realized that I am most productive when I have someone to share with.

I started blogging so my Dear Sister could "stalk" me, as she so sweetly put it. We lived in different states and blogging provided the perfect way for us to stay connected. But, as the popularity of blogging grew, random people began reading my blog and, quite frankly, it weirded me out a bit. I started thinking I needed to write a certain way or only include certain topics. I began to over analyze everything I wrote, worried that someone who didn't know me and my dry, sarcastic sense of humor, might take offense. And for the people who do know me, Offending others is the last thing I would ever want to do. I became bogged down...taking weeks to write and edit a post that should have only taken thirty minutes to type up and post.

And I've decided that I'm done with that.

I am who I am. A nerdy, introverted, sarcastic, homemaking intellect.  And I am done worrying about what others think in regards to this blog. Especially when they are faceless names in the cyber-world.

I'm going back to the way I was when my blog was private. I am writing the way I speak. Nothing fancy. Just a nice conversation between sisters and friends.

I'm not vain. I'm not perfect. This blog is only a sliver of me. Reading it does not make you an expert on me or my way of thinking. It only provides a glimpse into my life. But for family and friends who truly know me, the sliver is all they need in order to catch up with my family and I.

People I don't know are welcome to read. Though I may be slow to make true friends, I am friendly to everyone I meet. But if you are going to judge negatively or get your feelings hurt by a person that you haven't even met (namely me), please move on. There are plenty of other blogs to read.

This blog is addressed to my Sisters and Friends.

My Counting is Off!

Once upon a time my family consisted of:  Me, Hubby, Rose, Anne, Joe, and Cakes.  Six people. Four children, two adults.  I am a counter. I count the kids when we get into the car, during activities, and when we leave. Counting ensures that I know where all kids are at all times, thereby ensuring their safety and my sanity.

A year ago, we added Miss Q to the count. Adding one was fine and I had a few months to get used to the new count of five children.

Then we added Mr. J and our count became six children. Again, adding this one was fine and I had a few months to get used it the new count.

Then came Baby Jim. We had known about his arrival for quite a while, so he was easy, easy to add. And my count was seven.

It was a large family. Nine people in total. Seven kids to keep track of. But I was fine. My count was spot on.

Then the first week of July Mr. J left. The first week of August Miss Q left. And my count was Off!

I kept counting five kids and thinking I'd left someone behind. I'd count and recount. Sometimes while I was driving I'd have the kids count off for me again, just to ensure that everyone was in the car, even though I had counted them getting in.  It was ridiculous.

The foster kids left in such rapid succession that it took a while for my brain and count to acclimate themselves to the new number. I now have five children. Only five. Once my count readjusted I was fine. Absolutely fine.

A stranger, on hearing that I had five kids, asked how I managed with "so many children". I laughed and told her Five was easy when compared to Seven...I just had to adjust my count. ;)

Sunday Musings

I have two callings in my ward. I put together the bulletin and teach primary. I've had these calling for close to two years. I know what they entail. And yet...

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The Bishop just called a few minutes ago. He asked if I had a few minutes to talk to him. Those words immediately set my heart to racing. Thoughts of new callings or added assignments race through my mind. My anticipation/dread start to increase as this dear man waits for my answer. When I tell him that yes I do have a few minutes to talk to him, he merely gives me the names of the people speaking in church next week and my heart calms down. Hahaha!

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You would think I'd have gotten used to it by now. You would think that I wouldn't freak out just because the Bishop calls and asks specifically for me. I mean, I have been putting the bulletin together for quite a while. Maybe it has something to do with only receiving calls from him every third month. Whatever it is, the fact remains, every time my Bishop calls, my heart starts pounding. Haha! It also doesn't help that his daughter and my Anne are good friends. Sheesh. I have just never had this much casual contact with a Bishop before. And he is a lovely man...it just freaks me out a bit to talk to him. ;)

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My baby Jim is the happiest baby that ever did live. He smiles and coos and loves to be loved. As I watch this darling boy, I am struck by the scripture 1 John 4:19..."We love him, because he first loved us."

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When we smile at Jim, his whole face lights up. When someone talks to him and looks into his eyes, his whole face lights up. My kids have deduced that since he smiles at us all so much he must love us. I agree. But I think a lot of it has to do with that scripture. Baby Jim loves us because we first loved him.

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And speaking of scriptures, I'm going to give this one a try: Daniel 1: 3 - 16. I think I've written about this before, if not here's the story...

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A few years ago a wonderful woman taught a Relief Society Stake Conference lesson on the subject of Finding Balance in Life. It was a great lesson. She has used the story of Daniel and the Pulse consistently throughout her life.

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Research shows that it takes thirty days for a habit to form. But thirty days was 1) Too much time for her to waste if the thing wasn't going to work and 2) too much pressure for her to be consistent with and still take care of her family. Instead, she follows Daniel's advice and gives things a ten day trial to prove them. She'll try something for ten days, determine if it works in her life, if it is blessing or a hindrance. If it works, then she'll try it for ten more days. If it's still working, she'll give it another ten days. And after a few repeats, she's made the thing a habit. If the thing does not work, she's only used up ten days and not wasted a whole month.

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I am needing to implement a good exercise program. I have fifteen pounds I need to lose, muscles to tone up, and better circulation to encourage. Unfortunately, I don't have the strength to fully commit to an elaborate exercise routine, but I do have the strength to change my routine for a mere ten days. Yeah. I can handle ten days.

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I figure if I go in ten-day increments, I can be on my way to a fit and lean body in just a few months.

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Wish me luck. :)

Adjectives

While pregnant, I spent a lot of time thinking about names. I poured through baby name books and spent hours searching online. Even after Jim's birth, my mind kept mulling over various names, origins, and meanings.

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Then one night, while running on fumes and nursing my baby, I had the funniest thought. I thought I should change my name to fit my moods. Like the Smurfs and Dwarfs had done before me, I would change my name to an Adjective! Unlike those fictional characters, my moods are more dynamic and change over time. That meant that I would need to change my name at least once a day, probably more!

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Here are some names that would have been appropriate for me during the last two months:

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Sleepy ~ five hours of sleep doesn't cut it, especially the five hours is broken into two or three segments. Sure...2 + 2 + 1 = 5, but it's just not as restorative as a solid five.

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Grumpy ~ sleep deprivation following a drastic weight loss can wreak havoc on one's patience

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Weepy ~ sleep deprivation following a drastic weight loss can also wreak havoc on one's emotions

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Happy ~ my Baby Boy is a smiling maniac! he has been smiling since day one and started laughing at two weeks. it's hard to stay grumpy or weepy with the dear boy smiling at me.

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Dopey ~ sleep deprivation turns my brain to mush and renders my speech incomprehensible. luckily Hubby understood my mixed up vocabulary and weird hand gestures.

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PigPen ~ there were many days wherein I used my allotted shower time to take a nap instead. my soft bed was so tempting. I decided sleep was more important than general cleanliness. (this name is from Peanuts)

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Sneezy ~ a change in the weather kicked my allergies into high gear. nursing prevented me from taking certain medications.

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Hefty ~ this one totally applies! honest, it does! it requires a lot of muscle to take care of a newborn plus parent my four children plus two foster kids. I used both physical strength and mental strength.

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Clumsy ~ fortunately, I only bonked my toes and elbows and never the baby. Phew!

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Greedy ~ I was starving after giving birth and starving for eight weeks afterwards. I have been eating anything and everything. whatever I can get my hands on. food, glorious food!

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Slouchy ~ nine months of pregnancy bending my spine caused me to lose an inch off my height. sheesh! between visits to a chiropractor and massages from Hubby after birth I regained the inch, but an quickly losing it again due to my hunched stance while rocking, nursing, and holding the Baby Boy.

A Day in My Life...

I have been super busy. There are so many topics I would like to post about, but free time is hard to come by these days. Please know that I will still be posting a couple of entries regarding the LOST finale. I'll probably have time to post all my notes and thoughts next week. Those posts will take more than a few minutes to type out and a few minutes is all I currently have. And with that in mind, I thought that I would share the events of my day with you. Although the events of each day vary, this list will give you a general idea of where my time is spent.

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4:00 am ~ Wake up with Baby Jim. He's a hungry little guy. Watch the World Cup match between "Holanda" and "Dinamarca" to stay awake. Laugh as the Danish team scores a point for their opponent. I thought that only happened on cartoons!

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5:00 am ~ Return to bed.

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7:06 am ~ Jolt awake when I sense a presence hovering inches from my face. No burglars. Just Hubby trying to see if Baby Jim was breathing. Baby Jim has had a hard few days so he slept in the crook of my arm last night. (And before you think I slept in until 7:00, please know that I didn't even get to bed until after 11:00 pm and then had to get up twice with the dear baby, each time staying awake for at least an hour.)

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7:10 am ~ Nurse the baby.

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7: 30 am ~ Feed the troops. All seven of them. Take my morning meds...Wait thirty minutes to feed myself.

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7:45 am ~ Get Mr. J ready for daycare while getting laundry started. (Mr. J attends daycare as part of his case plan...it's supposed to help him socialize better. Mostly it's just taught him how to say "mine" and how to bite and spit.)

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7:50 am ~ Fold laundry. Remind Miss Q of her orthodontic appointment.

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8:00 am ~ Wonder why Hubby hasn't left for work yet. He's supposed to take drop off Mr. J on his way...

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8:05 am ~ Search out Hubby. Not in the garage. Not in the backyard. Hmmm....

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8:07 am ~ Find Hubby in our room. He has changed back into his pajamas and is lying in bed!! Stand dumbfounded in the doorway for a couple of minutes.

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8:09 am ~ Ask Hubby what in the world he is doing in his pajamas lying in bed. Listen patiently as the decrepit old man explains that he has thrown out his back. He can't go into work or take Mr. J to day care.

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8:10 am ~ Refrain from killing Hubby. Remind him that he has known for eight years that he ought to take care of his back. Refrain from saying anything further on this subject as it will only lead to harsh words and murder.**

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8:15 am ~ Hand him Baby Jim, they can lay around together.

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8:20 am ~ Pair the kids off. Rose she is in charge of Mr. J, Anne is in charge of Cakes. Inform them that Dad is home, but is limited in his helping capacity. Drive Miss Q to her orthodontic appointment.

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8:30 am ~ Make my monthly payment ($$$) for Miss Q's braces while Miss Q gets her braces adjusted. Sit and wait while she is being seen. (I usually have the little boys with me during these appointments. It was nice to be by myself for once.)

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8:40 am ~ Remember that the Jim's pediatrician is in the same plaza and even though they don't answer their phones until 9:00 am, their doors open at 8:30!

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8:41 am ~ Briskly walk to their office.

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8:50 am ~ Make an appointment for Jim.

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9:00 am ~ Return to orthodontist office and wait for Miss Q.

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9:30 am ~ Appointment over, drive home.

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9:45 am ~ Check on Hubby. Rose took pity on him and brought him a drink and some meds. Call around to find a massage therapist who can see him ASAP.

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9:55 am ~ Load Mr. J and Jim into the van. Take Mr. J to day care first then head to the pediatrician's office. Order the children to have my kitchen and living room clean by the time I get home!

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10:15 am ~ Follow-up appointment for Jim. He was admitted to the hospital over the weekend for breathing problems. It was pretty scary for a few hours, but he's fine now. Breathing great!

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10:40 am ~ Return home to a clean kitchen and living room. Thank the kids.

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11:00 am ~ Eat lunch.

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11:20 am ~ Clean and organize house.

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1:00 pm ~ Load the van with Goodwill items

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1:30 pm ~ Swim Team for Joe, Rose and Anne. Drop them off at the pool and run to Goodwill to drop off donations, the bank to deposit a check, and Dillard's for wedding clothes.

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3:00 pm ~ Massage therapy appointment for Hubby...that I have to drive him to. The man can barely walk let alone drive himself. The poor decrepit old man! It took him about fifteen minutes to walk to the car.

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3:30 pm ~ Pick up kids from Swim Team. Pick up Mr. J from day care.

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4:00 pm ~ Pick up Hubby from his appointment. On our way home swing by the orthodontist's office to get paperwork for CPS then pick up Hubby's prescription for muscle relaxers.

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4:30 pm ~ Finally reach home! Chill out for a while and feed the baby. (Don't freak out thinking I haven't fed him since the morning. He eats every three hours. I just didn't feel like including all his feedings.)

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4:40 pm ~ Return a call from CPS. Mr. J is not attending the wedding with us after all. Spend the next thirty minutes on the phone coordinating his stay.

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5:10 pm ~ Start dinner. Repeatedly get distracted.

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6:00 pm ~ Give a tour of my home and yard to the dear Young Man who graciously agreed to care of our dogs and trees while we attend my sister's wedding.

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6:30 pm ~ Finally serve dinner.

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7:00 pm ~ Realize that it's still light outside. Order the kids to throw on their swimsuits.

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7:10 pm ~ Wash the van and the truck. Rose, Anne, Joe, Miss Q, Cakes, and Mr. J all help.

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8:00 pm ~ File inside. Get little boys into their pajamas. Everyone else can do it themselves.

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8:10 pm ~ Prayers. Tell Rose and Anne to wait for you. Put boys to bed with a song.

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8:15 pm ~ Return a phone call from Miss Q's YCL leader. She's attending YCL camp this week!

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8:20 pm ~ Have Rose and Anne try on the wedding clothes you bought at Dillard's. Discuss which dress they like the most. Set them aside.

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8:40 pm ~ Put girls to bed.

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8:45 pm ~ Call bishopric member who is conducting church this week. We'll be gone, but I'll still have the bulletin ready if he would please print it out and make the copies.

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8:50 pm ~ Check on Hubby and Jim. Jim is asleep.

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8:54 pm ~ Start updating my blog.

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10:06 pm ~ SHEESH!! It took me more than an hour to type up the events of my day. Now this is why I don't update more often. I don't usually have an hour to type. I only have five minutes here and there. And now I've wasted a whole hour of Jim sleeping in which I could have also been sleeping. Alright. That is it. I am going to bed.

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Good Night!

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**I actually did pretty good about not getting mad or killing the man this time. I really wasn't too mad. Mostly I just laughed and told him that it served him right for not taking care of his decrepit old self.

Friendship

One of my dear friends sent me the following. It was titled "Perfect Friendship Poem". I don't know if I would classify it as a poem, but it is definitely a good description of friendship. It made me laugh and reminded me of a few great friends I have had through the years.
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1. When you are sad, I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew.
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2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
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3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
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4. When you're scared, we will high tail it out of there.
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5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!
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6. When you are confused, I will use little words.
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7. When you are sick, stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have...
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8. When you fall, I will pick you up and dust you off...after I stop laughing.

Valentine's for Grown-Ups

I went to a planning meeting this morning for our Stake's Relief Society Celebration. I am helping with the humanitarian aid room. It is going to be fun!

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On my way home from the meeting, I turned on the radio. As I was scanning through the channels I heard the funniest advertisement. The commercial began by saying that giving flowers or candy to your sweetie fro Valentine's Day is, basically, boring and overdone. Instead, you need to get your sweetie something really special. Something that will let her know just how much you care.

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And just what is that special something they were advertising?

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I thought it would be jewelry or a dinner date.

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Nope.

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The special something to get your Grown-Up sweetheart...A Vermont Teddy Bear!

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That's right. A teddy bear.

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I thought maybe I wasn't understanding the commercial correctly. Maybe the commercial was really telling you to buy a lingerie-style teddy. That type of gift seemed more inline with grown-up tastes to me. I came home and looked the company up online. No misunderstandings on my part. They were advertising actual Teddy Bears. To give to your adult sweetie. Hahaha!

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To their commercial, I respond: I am not five. I am a grown-up woman. A WOMAN!

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In all honesty, I don't ever remember having a teddy bear. A doll, yes. Never a teddy bear. And I received that doll before I entered kindergarten.

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Rose has a teddy bear. She was quite enamored of it for many years. Rose is ten now and yes, the bear still has a special place on her bed. It holds sentimental value for her. But if she received a teddy bear at this point in her life, I think she would be a bit offended by the immaturity of the gift.

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So....if a ten-year old thinks she is too old for a teddy bear gift, do you really think a Grown Woman would be happy to receive one??

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Haha!

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Personally, I'd prefer the candy or flowers. ;)

Dental Hygiene

I took Rose and Anne to the dentist this morning. They both had cavities that needed to be filled.

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Being the granddaughter of a dentist, I make sure that all members of my family have a regular cleaning and check-up every six months. So imagine my surprise when, while sitting in the waiting room, I heard the following conversation. It took place between a middle-aged couple and their elderly mother was being seen. The mother lived in a nursing home and was brought to the appointment by a nursing home staff member.

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Woman: This dentist said he can do everything in the same day. So we see him this morning and he'll have it ready by this afternoon.
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Mom: Oh good.
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Man: Yeah. We sure are lucky to get in. You know Joe had to have seven teeth pulled.
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Mom: Seven?!?
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Man: Yep. Well, I guess that's what we get for not taking him in for a check-up for the last eight years. He had to have two from the front pulled and the rest from the back.
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Woman: He must have had such a hard time eating.
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Man: Yeah. We just didn't even notice. His front teeth looked fine. It never occurred to me to pry his mouth open and check the molars. They were so bad that an infection had started. He had stitches from where they had to dig the teeth out and then he had to be on medication for a good long while to combat the infection.
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Mom: Oh the poor dear.
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Man: Yep. You know he just kept eating his biscuits and you really have to use your molars to chew those up.
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Mom: Biscuits?
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Man: Oh he loved to eat biscuits. They were his favorite treat. Boy! It sure shows how much he loved those biscuits that he would still eat them even though he must have been in so much pain.
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It was at this point that I realized they were NOT talking about another elderly relative in their care, but were, in fact, talking about their dog. :S

What's in a Name, Part 2

Two other considerations when naming your child:

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1) How will the name look written out?

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2) Does this name, or any of its nicknames or derivatives, have inappropriate/embarrassing connotations or rhyme with inappropriate/embarrassing words?

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1) It is important that a child be able to write their own name. A name that is too long or has an odd configuration can hinder the child. Also, some letters just don't look good next to each other.

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For example, Atticus and Matthew.

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These names have the dreaded double T. When typing, the t's look nice and neat. When handwritten, the t's blend together to form an H, turning "Atticus" into "Ahicus". You could cross the t's on different levels, but that looks odd and I really don't want my son to have a name that looks odd when written.

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And yes, I realize that is a bit obsessive to cross all names that have double t's off my list for such a small reason, but Come On!!! This is who I am. A crazed, planning-for-the-future-obsessed lady. And those natural tendencies are only amplified by the pregnancy hormones. ;)

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Also out: "IL" names. When written, the Il can be mistaken for two l's or two i's, depending on the child reading it.

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2) Let's face it, kids on the playground will find any reason they can to tease another kid. Given mine and my husband's crazy growth patterns (Hubby was six foot one in sixth grade), our poor kid is already likely to face teasing based on stature. We don't want him made fun of for his name too.

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So, we are also considering connotations, cultural references, and rhyming.

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This consideration crosses out names like:

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* Bart (fart)

* Bruce (I really like this name too. but for the last ten years it has been culturally referenced as the quintessential gay man's name.)

* Tucker (mother f...)

* Mitch (b...)

* Chester (refers to perverts and molesters)

* Edward (people will think I'm naming him after Twilight. btw Joe's favorite name for years has been Isabella. he first heard it from "Bring a Torch Jeanette, Isabella." that name is out too.)

* Hussein (the name means "small handsome one" and really does sound cute. too bad a dictator had the name. Adolph is out for similar reasons. seriously! who still uses these names??)

* Hyman (hymen. this rhyme also crosses out Hyrum for me. those names are just a bit too similar for my liking.)

* Ichabod (Crane. he was the biggest wuss of them all)

* Peter & John (have you seen "Nunsense"? you won't understand this cross off until you do.)

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I could go on, but I think you get the general idea.

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*sigh* I've just about given up on my name books. I've read them through multiple times, but still haven't found "THE" name. I've started searching online. Wish me luck!

The Natural Order of Things

My kids were watching a show about penguins. The narrator detailed how penguins live, what they eat, and why it's important to help them. The narrator really emphasized the importance of eating a natural diet. As I listened to the program, I started to wonder...

Aren't penguins the natural diet of killer whales?

I've seen a few killer whales at Sea World. Usually they're being fed fish. I'm pretty sure fish aren't their natural diet.

What about those whales' natural diet? Those majestic animals are being fed fish ALL THE TIME! Doesn't their natural diet consist of penguins, polar bears, seals, and the occasioal baby blue whale? If everything the National Geographic says is true, then YES. That is exactly what they eat. Yet no one seems to be advocating on behalf of the killer whales.

And what about polar bears? They're being fed fish too. We've seen many polar bears in various zoos across the country. At each zoo, these great mammals are being fed fish. Doesn't their natural diet consist of seals?

Really, if it's so important for penguins (one of the lesser animals on the food chain) to have a natural diet, it stands to reason that it would be vital that the larger, more intelligent animals be given the same opportunity.

And so I propose a change. I propose that a few penguins be sacrificed each month for the overall well-being of the killer whales. I know, I know. Some penguins are endangered and who wants to fly down to the South Pole on a regular basis and try to catch them. That is why I propose we only take penguins from the zoos.

It makes more sense when you think of it in terms of salmon. Not all salmon comes from the ocean and lakes. Salmon is hard to catch and fishers don't want to deplete the supply. So they have salmon farms! They raise salmon in an environment that mimics their natural environement. Studies have shown that there are variations in the nutrutional value of farm-raised versus wild salmon, but the variations seem minimal.

The same could be true of penguins!

Think of every penguin display you have ever visited at a zoo. Doesn't it seem a bit overcrowded? The penguins have hardly any room to move. That hardly seems fair those tuxedo-wearing birds! By sacrificing a few penguins each month, you would not only be helping out the killer whales...you would also be helping other penguins have more room to move around. It's a complete win-win situation!

(except for the sacrificed penguins, but really, is living in a overcrowded area where people stare at you all day and knock on your glass such a great life? I think not.)

Naive Dr. Who Fan

After many days of searching the internet, I found the links to watch the final episodes of Dr. Who starring David Tennant and written by Russell T Davies. I'll provide the links first then my review. I don't want anyone spoiled before they can watch. But be warned, the review will contain SPOILERS!!

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Dr. Who End of Time Part I

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Dr. Who End of Time Part II

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The End of Time was magnificent! So many wonderful story lines all coming together in the most brilliant way! When I first saw Timonthy Dalton on screen I was both confused and ecstatic. Ecstatic because he's such a fun and talented actor. Confused because what is he doing narrating Dr. Who??? I would never have imagined that Davies would actually show us the end of the Time Lords. Holy Guacamole!! That was such a big surprise!

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We got to see more of Gramps. I knew Donna (Catherine Tate) would be back from watching the trailers. I just assumed that Gramps would be secondary to her storyline. That caused quite a bit of concern for me. I like Donna. A lot! I really didn't want her brains to get burned from remembering. I was most pleasantly surprised that Gramps turned out to be the companion for the End. It was marvelous! Bernard Crippins was a complete joy to watch. He was a perfect companion for Dr. David to end his tenure with. Perfect! And I must say my heart just about leapt out of my chest when dear old Gramps knocked four times to be let out of the nuclear holding cell. "He will knock four times and you will die." What a kick in the bum for poor Dr. David!

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I loved that the Doctor returned to visit all his old companions. I wish that he had spent more time with Martha. That was a bittersweet moment for me, and her! Her poor Hubby had to comfort her a bit after the Doctor just walked away. Again! Sheesh. I loved that the Doctor attended Donna's wedding. That he saw his best friend happy, safe, and loved.

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But the best companion visit was to Captain Jack. It was the best because of Hubby's reaction to the Doctor's set up of Jack and Alonso. And I quote:

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"Wait...What?? Captain Jack is a flamer?!?!?!"

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Hahahaha! Can you believe my poor naive husband? Hahahaha! I just about had an asthma attack laughing at him. I pointed out that when first introduced, good old Jack had come onto the Doctor. Hubby doesn't remember that. I then pointed out that Captain Jack made eyes at every single living creature he met. Didn't matter the gender, species, size, color, or temperature of the creature. Good old Captain Jack would be making googly eyes at him/her/it, trying to get him/her/it into his bed.

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So, No, dear Hubby of mine. Captain Jack is not a flamer. Dr. Frank-N-Furter is a flamer. (and a gorgeous one, I must confess!) Captain Jack is... Well, Good old Jack, He is SO.  MUCH.  MORE!!! Hahahaha!!!

Quilting vs. Newborn Baby

I am on the e-mail list of a local quilt shop. A few days ago I received this notice:

"We are making arrangements for a quilting cruise for 7 days to the Mexican Riveria April 25 to May 2. We are working with Tour West Travel. The cost include cabin, taxes and port charges and range from $ 499 - $779 depending on the type of cabin you want. We will be sending out a flyer soon. We will be joining Memory Lane Quilt Shop for this cruise! We will not have any "famous" people on the cruise to teach classes but we will all be there to keep you busy and entertained!"

I've got to tell you, when I first read this I thought: "Surely the old quilting ladies wouldn't mind if a newborn attended the cruise. And I could totally sew with one hand and nurse with the other. I know all the grandmas would help me out if I needed a break. And I'm sure my doctor wouldn't mind inducing my a couple weeks early so I could be a far enough into the post-partum recovery to really enjoy the cruise and participate fully..."

Haha! Can you believe the craziness that is me! I sure can't. There is no way I can go on a cruise with a newborn. Especially not mere weeks after giving birth! I told Hubby about my crazy few minutes of considering this. He just laughed at me and said the hormones really must be messing with my brain. He's right! I'm usually a pretty rational gal. And taking a newborn on a cruise while still recovering from giving birth to said newborn is definately NOT rational thinking.

So I' m not going on the quilting cruise. Oh well.

But hey! Maybe the cruise will be such a great success they'll do it again next year. I mean, I could totally leave a one-year old in the care of his Dad for a few days. Really! Hubby could absolutely handle that! Don't you think??? ;)

What's in a Name?

You know the old saying "A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet"? Well, it's just not true when it comes to naming children. Names hold much more significance! The meaning, the cultural references, the way it rolls of the tongue, if you knew a jerk in elementary by the same name, any possible crude words that might rhyme with the name you've chosen. These things (and many others) must be taken into account when deciding on the name of your child.

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Fortunately for me, I have a name book to help me out. This baby will be our third boy. (WOW! Another darling son! I still can't get over it!) Hubby and I have only a few requirements (other than those listed above) for our son's name. The most important being that it needs to be a boy boy name. That is to say, a name that will not make people wonder, upon reading the name, if our son is a boy or a girl. A name that declares itself Male in all ways.
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Hubby and I have diligently searched this book, from A to Z, searching for the perfect name for our son. Here are some of the book's "boy" suggestions:

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1) Ashley (Scarlett's love interest in Gone with the Wind; when I first read the book I thought she was in love with another girl!!)

2) Aubrey (my cousin's daughter's name)

3) Beverly (like Beverly Crusher from Star Trek Next Generation)

4) Caroll (I guess the second "L" makes it manly...)

5) Courtney

6) Kimberly (I've known many Kim's in my life...all female)

7) Lacy (the neighbor girl when I was twelve)

8) Meredith (my sister's name)

9) Paris (male lover to Helen of Troy and Juliet, but Hilton has claimed it as a girly girl name)

10) Whitney (as in Houston??)
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Most of these male names were taken over many years ago. However, the trend to use male names for baby girls has continued and amplified! Hubby worked for a woman named Michael. My dear Mom had a high school student named Jeremie. I guess spelling it with "ie" makes it feminine.

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What's a soon-to-be Mother to a boy supposed to do? How can I be sure that the name I pick doesn't end up a girl's name a few years down the road? The answer is I can't! I just have to pick a name and cross my fingers.
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Wish me luck!

Arizona!!

I'm still busy. I have pictures that go along with my busyness, but don't want to take the time to load them and write about them right now. Instead I will share a list that was chain-e-mailed to me many, many years ago. I am usually not a fan of chain e-mails. In fact, they annoy me greatly. But this list was so dead-on accurate in its portrayal of my favorite state that I saved it. This list has survived three computer crashes and upgrades and still rings true today.


So, without further ado, here's the list. My observations and comments are in blue.




You Know You're From Arizona When...



1. You buy salsa by the gallon.
And it's usually freshly made salsa. Yum!



2. Your Christmas decorations include sand and one hundred paper bags.
My family never did this, but Hubby's did. They also used them at Halloween.



3. You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
We got that trait from our California neighbors. ;)



4. None of your out-of-state friends visit during their summer vacations.
But you can visit them!



5. You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.
This IS clever! They are used in the summer when getting into your car during the day is the same as getting into your oven. And touching your steering wheel is the same as touching an oven rack. I used socks for a long time, but they were too thin and my hands would still get burned. Oven mitts never fail.



6. Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los".
Mexican restaurants with authentic Mexican food. Yum! I didn't truly appreciate this until I lived in Kansas and was subjected to their version of "Mexican" food. Yuck!



7. You think sixty tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.
Rock yards dot the Arizona landscape. But this Arizona Native prefers grass and citrus trees and is currently trying to remove 12 tons of red rocks from her yard.



8. You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
This is not a joke. It can really happen. And it is funny to watch...as long as it's not happening to YOU!



9. Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
My current house is made of stucco, but we have a pink clay tile roof. *shudders* Pink is not my favorite color. I'd prefer a blue-gray clay tile roof. Oh well. My last two Arizona houses were made of brick and had shingle roofs. That's what houses in Arizona used to be made of.



10. You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think your clearing your throat.
Say it with me: "Hoe-Hoe-Come" although some people pronounce it "Hoe-Hoe-Cam" like camera. But those people are wrong. Don't believe me? Look it up. :)



11. You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
I associate bridges and rivers in Arizona with water, but not as constant running things. They were the back-up for when we had heavy rains and flash floods. The rivers were lucky to have a trickle once a year. And a true run of water maybe once every ten years...when those flash floods hit and hit hard. For the majority of the year, they were dry and dusty places. It wasn't until we moved to Kansas that I saw bridges over constant running water. Filled brooks, creeks, rivers, and streams. It was an amazing sight to behold. And all I could think was, I hope they are stock-piling that against a drought for next year. Haha! A Kansas "drought" had more rain than three or four years of Arizona rain combined.



12. You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.
This would make me so mad. You do not waste water in Arizona. On a side-note, in Kansas the majority of the people I met didn't even know what irrigation was! And when I tried to explain it, they thought I was crazy. Haha!



13. You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
A swamp cooler can be your best friend in the summer.



14. You can say "115 degrees" without fainting.
115 is easy! It's when the temperature hits 120 then decides to stay there for a few weeks that you're in trouble. Haha! I'm just kidding. We all know that 120 is easy too. ;)



15. Every other vehicle is a 4x4.
Does this need an explanation?



16. You can be in the snow ad then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees.
One of the best parts of Arizona! You could snow ski and water ski on the same day!



17. Vehicles with open windows have the right of way in the summer.
I think this one is pretty self-explanatory too, but just in case...Vehicles with their windows rolled down in summer usually don't have working air conditioners. Because we don't want the occupants of said vehicle to die by baking to death, they have the right of way.



18. People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70 degrees.
Um, Yeah we do! 70 degrees is COLD!



19. You discover in July that it only takes two fingers to drive your car (see #5).
Unless you were smart enough to bring your oven mitts with you. But make sure not to leave the mitts in the car. Otherwise they will be too hot for you to wear.



20. The pool can be warmer than you are.
Who needs a jacuzzi?



21. Your run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
I have not been guilty of this one. Mainly because I've never had a house with a fireplace. But if I did, I would totally run my fans and air conditioner just to use the fireplace.



22. Most homes have more firearms than people.
So? This is said like it's a bad thing...



23. Kids will ask, "What is a mosquito?"
Mosquitoes don't like the dry heat of the desert. However, pools and other standing water have brought more mosquitoes to Arizona. Yuck!



24. People who have black cars or black upholstery in the car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state.
Or they're assumed to be insane. Black attracts heat. Same goes for almost black cars like forest green and navy blue. Arizonans tend to dive white or light-colored cars.



25. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Oh Yeah! Even if it's only a patch of shade 2 inches by 5 inches. Any and all shade will be used.



26. The AC is on your list of best friends.
I know it's on my list!



27. Monday night football starts before you get off work.
And any games played in the Phoenix area have to start in the afternoon so the East coasters can watch the show without having to stay up into the wee hours of the morning.



28. You know that valley fever isn't a disco dance.
It is most definitely not a disco dance. And it is not a laughing matter. It kills several people every year, mostly targeting the elderly and young children.



29. You can finish a Big Gulp in one minute and go back for seconds.
Big Gulp found exclusively at 7-Eleven. Holds 32 ounces of cool liquid refreshment.



30. The water from the cold tap is the same temperature as the hot one.
Well, at least we don't have to wait for the shower to warm up.



31. You can (correctly) pronounce the words: saguaro, ocotillo, Tempe, Gila Bend, Tucson, San Xavier, Canyon de Chelly, Mogollon Rim, cholla, and Ajo.
I would tell you how to pronounce these words, but then you might try to impersonate an Arizonan and I certainly don't want to help anyone trying to be tricky. ;)



32. It's July, it's noon, kids are on summer vacation and not one person is walking on the street.
Are you kidding? Of course no one is out! They would melt into a puddle of goo! Or die of heat exhaustion! Or dehydration! No joke!!

I've got to confess that when I first saw kids in Kansas playing outside in the afternoon in the summer, I seriously thought about calling child protective services on their parents.


33. You experience third degree burns if you touch any metal part of your car.
Rose still has a mark on her leg from when she was two and a seat belt buckle got her. That was a bad day. No third degree burns, but a pretty bad first degree bordering on second. :(


34. You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you are wearing shorts.
Doesn't everyone know this? First off, you will burn your legs on the hot leather. And then you will be forced to sit and endure the burn because your hot, sticky legs will have permanently glued themselves to the leather seats. Ugh!


35. Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with "in case of rain...".
Actually, no events ever end with "in case of rain..." It rarely rains here. And when it does, people freak out. It is hilarious to watch!


36. Footprints in asphalt.
This one is fun to do, as long as you have shoes on. In the summer it gets so hot that the asphalt gets soft. Especially the new tar spots. You can literally stick your foot on certain spots and make a footprint. It usually goes away after a few minutes, but while it's there...totally cool!



37. When someone asks how far you live from a location it's always in terms of minutes, not miles.
Duh!


38. Everyone is smiling and talking about the great weather on rainy days.
Everyone except the Snow-Birds. It's makes their old bones and joints ache.


39. If you haven't worked for Motorola at some point then you must be a newcomer.
Even though it's considerably downsized, it played a large part in Arizona industry. If you haven't worked there, odds are that someone you are related to has.


40. You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is not Daylight Savings Time.
For those out-of-staters reading this, here's the explanation: Arizona doesn't need Daylight Savings Time. We don't need to Save Daylight. We have plenty of it. For example, on the day of Winter Solstice (the shortest day of the year) the Arizona sun rises at 7:30 am and sets at 5:30 pm. On the day of Summer Solstice (the longest day of the year) the Arizona sun rises at 6:15 am and sets at 8:45 pm. See. No need to save Daylight. However, we do have extensive programs in place to save water...