Anniversary Musings

I am usually a private person when it comes to certain things. However, I have been feeling impressed to share some thoughts. I have found that it is good to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

The 21st anniversary of our family occurred this past week. In 21 years our family has grown from two people to nine people. We have lived in nine different homes in four different cities. We have had several heated disagreements over the years and we have had many wonderful times of great joy. The best piece of advice we got as we were preparing for marriage was this:

"Love one another. Love is a Verb." Love is not just some feeling of endearment or affability that you feel for a particular person. Love is work. Love is choice. When Jesus commanded us to love one another, He was not commanding us to be infatuated with one another. Love, in this context, was an action verb. Love is this context means to serve and help one another, to be kind and respectful to one another, to keep hanging on and being loyal and true to one another. The Commandment to love one another is vital in the marital relationship. There will be days when you honestly do not like the person that you are married to and you may wonder how you could have made such a terrible choice as to bind yourself to them. It is on those days and in those moments when things are hard that it is most important to remember what True Love is. True Love is service, helping, kindness, respect, loyalty, and fidelity to your partner. True Love sometimes requires sacrifice and often requires humility. True Love is hard work at times. Fortunately, True Love is usually rewarding work--though the rewards may take days, weeks, or even months to show themselves.

Jeremy and I have had ups and downs in our marriage. There have been days when we have both been ready to call it quits. And on those days we remember the advice we were given: Love one another. Love is a Verb."

Sometimes we've had to walk around the block a few times to calm down. Sometimes we've had to sit ourselves down in timeout. Sometimes we just had to ignore each other for a couple of days. But we always come back. We keep on Loving each other even on days that we don't quite Like each other. And that, I think, has made all the difference in our relationship. I think we are stronger today then we have ever been, both as a couple and as individual people, because we keep coming back. We keep trying. The Lord truly works all things for our good. He will turn our weaknesses into strengths, If We Let Him. He will lead us and guide us and walk beside us, If We Let Him. Because that is the other important part of all of this: The Lord needs to be a part of your relationship.

I hope this doesn't come off as preachy. As I said at the beginning, I have been feeling prompted to share certain thoughts. Celebrating Twenty-One years of marriage has made me a bit introspective regarding this topic.

Happy Anniversary Jeremy.

Joe's Baptism!

Joe was baptized on a Saturday in October 2011. He is now an official member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 


It was an exciting day. Many family members traveled for many hours to attend Joe's baptism and show their support. It was lovely seeing all of them. Here are a few pictures from the day.

Joe in his new suit, pre-baptism. Isn't he such a handsome and happy little boy?!

Joe with his parents (me & Hubby!)

Three Generations: Joe, Hubby & Papa

Joe sans jacket

Joe up-close

I tried to use this opportunity to take family photos. I figured it would be easy since my children would be dressed nicely and there would be extra adults around to take the picture and help ensure every kid was smiling and looking in the same direction. The family picture idea was a fail. We did manage to get 1 decent picture, but I don't want to use it because Cakes and Jim aren't facing the camera and Rose is in the middle of licking her lips.

Only decent shot of my darling family

I also tried taking individual head shots. Surely if only one person was involved I could get a picture with that person looking at the camera and smiling. Wrong. The kids either 1) would not hold still or 2) gave me weird half-smiles half-grimaces. On the bright side, I did get some good candid shots. Just nothing I could use for a Title Page in the kids' memory books.

Cakes flying around the front yard.

Jim being held in place by me.

Cakes chilling by Hubby's feet

Our Stake Primary Presidency was in charge of the baptism set-up, so we didn't have to leave our house until twenty-til. It was great not having to worry about showing up early to fill the font, set out chairs, play prelude music. Our only job was to Show Up! Hooray! 


There were four other kids being baptized. The cultural hall was pretty packed with all five children's family members. I have no idea why, but it appears that I did not take any pictures of Joe & Hubby in their pre-baptism whites. 


It was wonderful seeing my dear Joe baptized. I am so happy that he made the decision to accept Jesus and follow his commandment to be baptized. It was also thrilling to then see him confirmed a member of the Church and receive the Holy Ghost. Both ordinances were done by Joe's father (Hubby!).


About twenty minutes in to the baptism service, Cakes fell asleep. All that running around before the baptism and not holding still for pictures tuckered the little guy out. Best part of Cakes falling asleep: the odd position of his body! Check it out...

After the baptism, my parents took loads of pictures of the extended family that showed up. I'm hoping to get copies of those soon. The pictures I took afterwards were of my darling son.


Just looking at this picture is filling me with so many emotions! Astonishment that my son is old enough to be baptized. Nostalgia thinking of the sweet baby boy he was and how much he has grown. Pleasure in knowing that he has a strong testimony. Pride in his striving to always choose the right. Sadness that time seems to be slipping by so fast. And through it all I have an overwhelming love and admiration for this sweet, sweet boy!

I am thrilled that Heavenly Father sent this choice son to me. I am humbled that he would entrust me with the great responsibility of nurturing and guiding such a stalwart soul as Joe. I am so happy to be a part of his life!!!

Return to the Family

My dear sister, together with her partners, has launched the 2011 Blogging Campaign.

Okay, first of all I have to say, it sounds absolutely crazy saying that about my sister! I mean, she's my sister...a regular person. To the ordinary onlooker she appears to be only a Mom, crafter, and hair guru. But just like Clark Kent and Kara Zor-El, she has another side-a super side. It's a bit unreal sometimes to realize what a big name in blogging she is.

As I was saying, my sister has launched the 2011 Blogging Campaign.

The theme is "Return to the Family".

She introduces the Campaign by stating:

"In today’s world, the family unit is often discounted, and even overlooked, so we are calling for a revolution. We would like to invite you to return to YOUR family, by using these two steps: 1) having regular family dinners and 2) having uplifting art in your home."

I completely agree with these two principles!

I am a firm believer in having regular family meals. We eat breakfast and dinner together every day. It is a time to grow together as a family. We use this time to talk about our days. We listen as family members cheerfully tell of the good things that have happened that day. We talk about the trials they passed through and discuss ways to overcome them in the future. We plan for future activities. And sometimes we just try to see who can tell the funniest joke. No matter the topic, we grow together and strengthen our familial bonds.

And I have always felt that beautiful, uplifting art was an integral part in changing a house into a home. At some point, one of the general authorities had stated that every LDS home needed Five pictures to truly make it a Gospel-Centered Home:

1) A picture of Christ

2) A picture of the Temple

3) A picture of your Family, must include Children!

4) A picture of their Heritage: Grandparents, Great-Grandparents, etc.

5) A picture of the Prophet

I used to have one or more of all these pictures. In our last move my Temple picture broke and I have yet to replace it. And I still haven't hung my picture of President Monson. I love the man and support him as the prophet. It's just that putting up his picture requires taking down President Hinckley's picture. I just haven't been able to part with it yet. Maybe I'll just hang President Monson next to President Hinckley. Hmmm...  Decisions, Decisions.

As part of their campaign they teamed with artist Liz Lemon Swindle** to provide Christ-centered art for the project. I'm still going through all her paintings,trying to decide which one I want Hubby to get me for my birthday. ;)

Anyhoo, I think that this is a wonderful program! They're trying to get the word out to everyone. So I'm doing my part in this little corner of the blogosphere. I hope you'll take time to check it out.

**Isn't it great that her name is "Liz Lemon"! Haha! When I read that name my interest was sparked immediately. Of course,being the nerd I am, I was thinking more along the lines of Liz Lemon as played by Tina Fey in 30 Rock. I was quite surprised to see pictures of Christ when I followed the link.

Grateful!

I've started a new tradition in my family. Whatever day Thanksgiving falls on, that is how many things you have to write in your journal that you are grateful for.

So this year, Thanksgiving is on November 25th. Meaning we all have to write down twenty-five things we are grateful for. We are waiting until we get back home from our Thanksgiving visit to write our lists down. I, however, also have this lovely blog to record the things I'm grateful for.

Here's my list:

1) A loving Heavenly Father

2) A courageous Older Brother & Savior

3) A comforting Holy Spirit

4) A wonderful Husband

5) Five Darling Children

6) Fantastic Parents and Parent-in-Law

7) Marvelous Siblings and Siblings-in-Law

8) Five Senses that Work

9) A (mostly) Healthy Body

10) A beautiful home

11) A soft bed

12) Warm clothes in the winter

13) Cool clothes in the summer

14) Quilts

15) Books

16) A living Prophet

17) Personal Revelation

18) Temples

19) Mountains to climb

20) Clouds to watch

21) The hummingbirds and roadrunner who visit my home

22) Trees to climb

23) Trees that bear fruit

24) Flowers

25) My energetic dog

Of course, there are many more things to be grateful for. These are the twenty-five that I most appreciate right now.

Happy Thanksgiving!

They're Out to Get Me

Rose and Hubby are trying to kill me.

I thought we were all getting along just fine. I thought we loved each other. I thought we even, occasionally, liked each other. But recent events have proven that Rose and Hubby are out to get me.

I have been battling a major sinus infection. The same infection that I battle every year around this time. I have been working hard trying to stay ahead of the uckiness and hopefully avoid further pollup infestations and tiresome surgeries. To aid me in my battle, every day I use a wonderful Sinus Rinse nasal wash. This consists of a cute little bottle filled with 8 oz. of warm water and mixed with their pre-packaged solution of salt and baking soda. Simple, yet so effective!

It can also be a huge mess. Remember the law of gravity? What goes up must come down. The same applies to liquids shot up one's nose. They come right back out, hopefully dislodging much nastiness in the process. 

Anyhoo, the other day Hubby offered to mix the wash for me. I was very grateful. It seemed like such a considerate thing to do! I really ought to have known better.

Hubby hands me the bottle and I promptly start pumping the wash up my nose. It burns!

I think, WHOA! I must have a serious infection. Or maybe the water went the wrong way. I shake it off and try the wash again. That water burned me again. It burned up my sinus, back behind my eyeballs, and down into my throat!!  It was awful!

I start spitting and snorting (yes, I know, very attractive) and calling for Hubby to help me. He comes rushing back in. I shout that my throat is burning...like an acid burn. And beg him to help me. And HE starts looking sheepish!  Turns out, he had added a whole capful of hydrogen peroxide to my nasal rinse. He thought that I wouldn't even notice. He thought it might help fry all the nastiness that has taken root in my sinuses. At least, that's what he claims...

But, I've got news for you Old Man! I don't believe that claim for an instance! There is no way that you could not have realized the dire consequences on the so-called love of your life's sinuses. NO WAY!  I know you were really trying to poison me! You can't fool me. And know this...I'm watching you! You won't have another chance to poison me. You should have gotten it right the first time. >:-(

And then the darling Rose.

A week ago the kids started talking about When We Have Another Baby!!!!

Excuse me? I just had a baby. You all have a little baby. Give your poor Mama some time to recover please. Aargh!

Despite my absolute shock at the topic they were discussing, I stayed quiet and just listened. It all seemed pretty harmless, until Rose confided that she has "been praying for Mom to have twins".

Ummmm.....

What did you just say?

I asked Rose when exactly she had prayed for twins.  Was it during her personal prayers?

Nope.

Turns out that for the past two months, during our family prayers she has been praying for me to have twins. And all of us have said "Amen" to each of her prayers.

That sneaky, conniving little...

The way she did it was by saying that part really softly and kind of covering her mouth with her hand. I just thought she was stifling yawns. It just goes to show that you should NEVER say Amen to a prayer that you haven't heard in full. Holy Cow! 

I told Rose that twins would kill me. She laughed and said, "No, they wouldn't. They'd be fun. I'd even help with them." 

Not only is she trying to kill me, she's laughing about it! Talk about adding insult to injury.

I told her to Get Some Guts! If she was going to pray for me to die during family prayers, she at least needed to have the courtesy to pray loud enough so that all the family members can hear what she is actually saying and then decide if they want to say Amen or not.

And you know what she did tonight? She prayed for twins loud enough that her siblings could all hear. And you know what those rotten twerps did??? They all said "Amen". I guess they all want me dead.

I just glared at them all. Even when they tried to kiss me good night.

And now I'm going to bed. I'm going to have to spend a lot of time praying tonight to try and counteract the prayers of my children. And I don't know that I'll win. My dear Father in Heaven has a soft spot for the prayers of children. 

Wish me luck. I'm going to need it.

The Eternal Family

This is a wonderful talk given in the October 1996 General Conference. I want to always remember this talk, especially the Fifteenth Paragraph. So I'm posting it here, where I can easily access it.

The Eternal Family

Elder Robert D. Hales

Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

(included in the November 1996 Ensign, pg. 64)

I wish to speak to all those who would like to know about eternal families and about families being forever. One year ago the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued a proclamation to the world concerning the family. It summarizes eternal gospel principles that have been taught since the beginning of recorded history and even before the earth was created.

The doctrine of the family begins with heavenly parents. Our highest aspiration is to be like them. The Apostle Paul taught that God is the father of our spirits (see Heb. 12:9). From the proclamation we read, “In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life.” The proclamation also reiterates to the world that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).

From the earliest beginnings, God established the family and made it eternal. Adam and Eve were sealed in marriage for time and all eternity:

“And thus all things were confirmed unto Adam, by an holy ordinance, and the Gospel preached, and a decree sent forth, that it should be in the world, until the end thereof; and thus it was” (Moses 5:59).

“And Adam knew his wife, and she bare unto him sons and daughters, and they began to multiply and to replenish the earth” (Moses 5:2).

The Savior Himself spoke of this sacred marriage covenant and promise when He gave the authority to His disciples to bind in heaven sacred covenants made on earth:

“And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven” (Matt. 16:19).

In this latter day the promise of eternal families was restored in 1829 when the powers of the Melchizedek Priesthood were restored to the earth. Seven years later, in the Kirtland Temple, the keys to perform the sealing ordinances were restored, as recorded in the Doctrine and Covenants:

“Elijah the prophet, who was taken to heaven without tasting death, stood before us, and said:

“Behold, the time has fully come, which was spoken of by the mouth of Malachi— …

“… The keys of this dispensation are committed into your hands” (D&C 110:13–14, 16).

With the restoration of these keys and priesthood authority comes the opportunity for all who are worthy to receive the blessings of eternal families. “Yea the hearts of thousands and tens of thousands shall greatly rejoice in consequence of the blessings which shall be poured out, and the endowment with which my servants have been endowed in this house” (D&C 110:9).

What is the promise of these sealings which are performed in the temples? The Lord outlines the promise and requirements in this sacred verse:

“And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them—Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths—then shall it be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life … and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever” (D&C 132:19).

As taught in this scripture, an eternal bond doesn’t just happen as a result of sealing covenants we make in the temple. How we conduct ourselves in this life will determine what we will be in all the eternities to come. To receive the blessings of the sealing that our Heavenly Father has given to us, we have to keep the commandments and conduct ourselves in such a way that our families will want to live with us in the eternities. The family relationships we have here on this earth are important, but they are much more important for their effect on our families for generations in mortality and throughout all eternity.

By divine commandment, spouses are required to love each other above all others. The Lord clearly declares, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else” (D&C 42:22). The proclamation states: “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families [see D&C 83:2–4; 1 Tim. 5:8]. [By divine design,] mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.” By divine design, husband and wife are equal partners in their marriage and parental responsibilities. By direct commandment of God, “parents have a sacred duty … to teach [their children] to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens [in the countries where they reside]” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102; emphasis added; see D&C 68:25–28; Mosiah 4:14–15).

Because of the importance of the family to the eternal plan of happiness, Satan makes a major effort to destroy the sanctity of the family, demean the importance of the role of men and women, encourage moral uncleanliness and violations of the sacred law of chastity, and to discourage parents from placing the bearing and rearing of children as one of their highest priorities.

So fundamental is the family unit to the plan of salvation that God has declared a warning that those “individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God [their maker]. … The disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).

While our individual salvation is based on our individual obedience, it is equally important that we understand that we are each an important and integral part of a family and the highest blessings can be received only within an eternal family. When families are functioning as designed by God, the relationships found therein are the most valued of mortality. The plan of the Father is that family love and companionship will continue into the eternities. Being one in a family carries a great responsibility of caring, loving, lifting, and strengthening each member of the family so that all can righteously endure to the end in mortality and dwell together throughout eternity. It is not enough just to save ourselves. It is equally important that parents, brothers, and sisters are saved in our families. If we return home alone to our Heavenly Father, we will be asked, “Where is the rest of the family?” This is why we teach that families are forever. The eternal nature of an individual becomes the eternal nature of the family.

The eternal nature of our body and our spirit is a question often pondered by those who live in mortality. All people who will ever live on earth are members of a human family and are eternal children of God, our loving Heavenly Father. After birth and tasting of death in mortality, all will be resurrected because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the Only Begotten Son of God the Father. Depending on our individual obedience to the laws, ordinances, and commandments of God, each mortal can have the blessing of attaining eternal life; that is, returning to live in the presence of their Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, having eternal increase for all the eternities to come. Through making and keeping the sacred covenants found in the temple ordinances, individuals can return to the presence of God and will be reunited with their families eternally.

The home is where we are nurtured and where we prepare ourselves for living in mortality. It is also where we prepare ourselves for death and for immortality because of our belief and understanding that there is life after death, not only for the individual but also for the family.

Some of the greatest lessons of gospel principles about the eternal nature of the family are learned as we observe how members of the Church, when faced with adversity, apply gospel principles in their lives and in their homes. In the past year I have witnessed the blessings of joy which come to those who honor and revere the gospel teaching of the eternal family during times of adversity in their lives.

A few months ago I had the opportunity of visiting a man who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness. As a devoted priesthood holder, he was confronted with the realities of mortality. He found strength, however, in the example of the Savior, who said, in the Lord’s Prayer, “After this manner therefore pray ye: … Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven” (Matt. 6:9–10). My friend took courage in knowing that as Jesus was required to endure great pain and agony in the Garden of Gethsemane while completing the atoning sacrifice, He uttered the words, “O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done” (Matt. 26:42).

My friend came to accept the phrase “Thy will be done” as he faced his own poignant trials and tribulations. As a faithful member of the Church, he was now confronted with some sobering concerns. Particularly touching were his questions, “Have I done all that I need to do to faithfully endure to the end?” “What will death be like?” “Will my family be prepared to stand in faith and be self-reliant when I am gone?”

We had the opportunity to discuss all three questions. They are clearly answered in the doctrine taught to us by our Savior. We discussed how he had spent his life striving to be faithful, to do what God asked of him, to be honest in his dealings with his fellowmen and all others, to care for and love his family. Isn’t that what is meant by enduring to the end? We talked about what happens immediately after death, about what God has taught us about the world of spirits. It is a place of paradise and happiness for those who have lived righteous lives. It is not something to fear.

After our conversation, he called together his wife and the extended family—children and grandchildren—to teach them again the doctrine of the Atonement that all will be resurrected. Everyone came to understand that just as the Lord has said, while there will be mourning at the temporary separation, there is no sorrow for those who die in the Lord (see Rev. 14:13; D&C 42:46). His blessing promised him comfort and reassurance that all would be well, that he would not have pain, that he would have additional time to prepare his family for his departure—even that he would know the time of his departure. The family related to me that on the night before he passed away, he said he would go on the morrow. He passed away the next afternoon at peace, with all his family at his side. This is the solace and comfort that comes to us when we understand the gospel plan and know that families are forever.

Contrast these events with an incident which happened to me when I was a young man in my early twenties. While serving in the Air Force, one of the pilots in my squadron crashed on a training mission and was killed. I was assigned to accompany my fallen comrade on his final journey home to be buried in Brooklyn. I had the honor of standing by his family during the viewing and funeral services and of representing our government in presenting the flag to his grieving widow at the graveside. The funeral service was dark and dismal. No mention was made of his goodness or his accomplishments. His name was never mentioned. At the conclusion of the services, his widow turned to me and asked, “Bob, what is really going to happen to Don?” I was then able to give her the sweet doctrine of the Resurrection and the reality that, if baptized and sealed in the temple for time and all eternity, they could be together eternally. The clergyman standing next to her said, “That is the most beautiful doctrine I have ever heard.”

The fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ brings great comfort in stressing times of mortality. It brings light where there is darkness and a calming influence where there is turmoil. It gives eternal hope where there is mortal despair. It is more than just beautiful doctrine. It is a reality in our lives that if we can be obedient and obtain the eternal rewards that God grants us, if we will draw nigh unto Him and embrace the eternal doctrine, we will be blessed.

Another incident that has touched my life recently happened when a young man with a terminal illness passed away. He knew that his illness would first take away his manual dexterity and his ability to walk, then its progression would take his ability to speak, and finally his respiratory system would cease to function. But he also had faith that families are forever. With this knowledge, he spoke to each of his children through video recordings for use when he was gone. He produced recordings to be given to his sons and daughters at important, sacred occasions in their lives, such as baptisms, priesthood ordinations, and weddings. He spoke to them with the tender love of a father who knew that while his family was forever, for a time he would not physically be able to be with them, but spiritually he would never leave their side.

The examples of faith shown by steadfast widows and widowers, along with that of their children, after the passing of a spouse or parent are an inspiration to all of us. Great lessons can be learned as we observe their faith and obedience as they strive to remain faithful so that they can once again be together as families through eternity.

The knowledge and understanding of the doctrine that God lives and Jesus is the Christ and that we have an opportunity to be resurrected and live in the presence of God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, makes it possible to endure otherwise tragic events. This doctrine brings a brightness of hope into an otherwise dark and dreary world. It answers the simple questions of where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going. These are truths that must be taught and practiced in our homes.

God lives. Jesus is the Christ. Through His Atonement we will all have the opportunity of being resurrected. This is not just an individual blessing; it is much more than that. It is a blessing to each one of us and to our families. That we may be eternally grateful, that we can live in the presence of God the Eternal Father and His Son Jesus Christ, that we may be together in the eternities to come, that we might understand the joy, and that we not only teach this doctrine but live true to it in our lives and in our families, is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Hello Again

It's been several weeks since my last post. I'm not the most consistent blogger. Many times, when I sit down to type, I feel guilty for not spending that time elsewhere...in more productive ways. After all, I do have a big house to clean and maintain; five kids to feed, clothe, teach, and entertain; and a myriad of unfinished projects to complete.

I'm also about five years behind in Memory Books. I've kept up with the births of my children, but not their birthdays, Christmas, Easter, or growth and development. And a nagging little voice always reminds me of these facts each time I sit down at my computer to update this blog.

As I sit here now, my kitchen is in shambles, clean laundry is piled high on the couches, dirty laundry lies in piles around my living room, my floor is covered in candy wrappers, and my bed is covered with Halloween costumes. There are so many things that I could be, probably should be doing. And yet here I sit.

Because I realized...I get more done when I think somebody cares about what I'm doing.

Yes, yes. I know that Hubby and the kids care. But it's not the same as having a girlfriend who cares and sympathizes and cheers one on. And let's face it, I am a slow one to make friends. It takes years for me to feel comfortable with others and to truly develop trust and friendship. Blogging helps me stay connected to those dear friends and family members that live far away.

This past month, I purposely avoided blogging. I listened to that nagging, guilt-filled voice. And you know what? My house isn't any cleaner and I've only made a teeny little dent in the projects galore. The only thing that changed was my heart...I have felt so lonely and isolated this past month. And instead of creating more time for myself, I felt as though I had less time and more work than ever!

Looking back, I've realized that I am most productive when I have someone to share with.

I started blogging so my Dear Sister could "stalk" me, as she so sweetly put it. We lived in different states and blogging provided the perfect way for us to stay connected. But, as the popularity of blogging grew, random people began reading my blog and, quite frankly, it weirded me out a bit. I started thinking I needed to write a certain way or only include certain topics. I began to over analyze everything I wrote, worried that someone who didn't know me and my dry, sarcastic sense of humor, might take offense. And for the people who do know me, Offending others is the last thing I would ever want to do. I became bogged down...taking weeks to write and edit a post that should have only taken thirty minutes to type up and post.

And I've decided that I'm done with that.

I am who I am. A nerdy, introverted, sarcastic, homemaking intellect.  And I am done worrying about what others think in regards to this blog. Especially when they are faceless names in the cyber-world.

I'm going back to the way I was when my blog was private. I am writing the way I speak. Nothing fancy. Just a nice conversation between sisters and friends.

I'm not vain. I'm not perfect. This blog is only a sliver of me. Reading it does not make you an expert on me or my way of thinking. It only provides a glimpse into my life. But for family and friends who truly know me, the sliver is all they need in order to catch up with my family and I.

People I don't know are welcome to read. Though I may be slow to make true friends, I am friendly to everyone I meet. But if you are going to judge negatively or get your feelings hurt by a person that you haven't even met (namely me), please move on. There are plenty of other blogs to read.

This blog is addressed to my Sisters and Friends.

Which Do You Want First?

The Good News?  Or the Bad News?

Go ahead. Think it over for a minute.

I'm guessing you would like to hear the Good News first...

GOOD NEWS! Paying Your Tithing Brings Blessings!

Hubby entered me into AAA's "We Know Disney" Sweepstakes. And I won. Really! I did. I won a Family Four Pack of 2-Day Park Hopper tickets to Disneyland and California Adventure. We had the option of getting the tickets now and using them by January 3, 2011 or getting the tickets in January and using them by May 31, 2011. We chose the latter.

Our kids are very excited. We started saving up for Disneyland a couple months ago. We were using the experience to teach our kids about working hard, budgeting their earnings, and saving for a long-term goal.  We made sure to pay tithing on all our earnings. We discussed with our children the Lord's words, given through the Prophet Malachi: "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." (Malachi 3:10)

My kids, remembering our discussion, are convinced that I won because we paid our tithing. Can't say I disagree. ;)

BAD NEWS...Fasting and Prayer Works

Today was Fast Sunday. Hubby and I chose to fast for his Momma to pass soon.  She has been slowly dying for four months now. It is not a good situation. The brain cancer is doing horrible things to her.

Our prayers were answered tonight. My dear Mother-In-Law passed on at 8:07 pm. She was only 65 years old.

Sunday Musings

I have two callings in my ward. I put together the bulletin and teach primary. I've had these calling for close to two years. I know what they entail. And yet...

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The Bishop just called a few minutes ago. He asked if I had a few minutes to talk to him. Those words immediately set my heart to racing. Thoughts of new callings or added assignments race through my mind. My anticipation/dread start to increase as this dear man waits for my answer. When I tell him that yes I do have a few minutes to talk to him, he merely gives me the names of the people speaking in church next week and my heart calms down. Hahaha!

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You would think I'd have gotten used to it by now. You would think that I wouldn't freak out just because the Bishop calls and asks specifically for me. I mean, I have been putting the bulletin together for quite a while. Maybe it has something to do with only receiving calls from him every third month. Whatever it is, the fact remains, every time my Bishop calls, my heart starts pounding. Haha! It also doesn't help that his daughter and my Anne are good friends. Sheesh. I have just never had this much casual contact with a Bishop before. And he is a lovely man...it just freaks me out a bit to talk to him. ;)

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My baby Jim is the happiest baby that ever did live. He smiles and coos and loves to be loved. As I watch this darling boy, I am struck by the scripture 1 John 4:19..."We love him, because he first loved us."

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When we smile at Jim, his whole face lights up. When someone talks to him and looks into his eyes, his whole face lights up. My kids have deduced that since he smiles at us all so much he must love us. I agree. But I think a lot of it has to do with that scripture. Baby Jim loves us because we first loved him.

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And speaking of scriptures, I'm going to give this one a try: Daniel 1: 3 - 16. I think I've written about this before, if not here's the story...

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A few years ago a wonderful woman taught a Relief Society Stake Conference lesson on the subject of Finding Balance in Life. It was a great lesson. She has used the story of Daniel and the Pulse consistently throughout her life.

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Research shows that it takes thirty days for a habit to form. But thirty days was 1) Too much time for her to waste if the thing wasn't going to work and 2) too much pressure for her to be consistent with and still take care of her family. Instead, she follows Daniel's advice and gives things a ten day trial to prove them. She'll try something for ten days, determine if it works in her life, if it is blessing or a hindrance. If it works, then she'll try it for ten more days. If it's still working, she'll give it another ten days. And after a few repeats, she's made the thing a habit. If the thing does not work, she's only used up ten days and not wasted a whole month.

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I am needing to implement a good exercise program. I have fifteen pounds I need to lose, muscles to tone up, and better circulation to encourage. Unfortunately, I don't have the strength to fully commit to an elaborate exercise routine, but I do have the strength to change my routine for a mere ten days. Yeah. I can handle ten days.

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I figure if I go in ten-day increments, I can be on my way to a fit and lean body in just a few months.

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Wish me luck. :)

Event-Filled Week

This past week has been jam-packed!

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I spent Tuesday cleaning the house and packing. My darling children all pitched in. Hubby, who's back was out, was assigned to lay in bed and hold the Baby Jim while we worked.

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Wednesday morning the kids and I loaded the van, helped Hubby wobble to his seat, and took off. First stop was respite for Miss Q. Surprise, surprise, the respite was at the home of her best friend. Hooray! We left Miss Q behind because she was attending YCL camp with our church Thursday & Friday.

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After dropping her off, we drove an hour to drop off Mr. J with his great-aunt. He was going to come with us for the weekend, but a last minute order from the court changed that plan. CPS thought this would be a great opportunity for bonding. We left him in the capable hands of his Auntie then drove on to Mesa, Arizona where our family adventure began!

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Wednesday Evening my darling baby was given a name and a blessing by his father. We gathered at Hubby's parents' home. His poor Mama is losing the battle with brain cancer. She was sent home last month with hospice services in place and at this time is unable to get out of bed. We opted to have the blessing at their house for two reasons:

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1) This was one of the things my Mother-in-Law used to get through chemo. Did you know that you administer chemo to yourself? I didn't. Each morning my MIL took one of those nasty pills that made her sick, sick, sick, in its attempt to kill the cancer. There were days when she just wanted to give up and not take the pills anymore. At those times one of the things that kept her going was the thought of attending her grandson's blessing. She'd think of the baby to come and swallow the nasty pill. What great courage!

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2) The Baby Jim is named after Hubby's father and that man is not leaving his wife's side.

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If they were to be included, we had to go to them. My family was wonderful about it. They, along with Hubby's siblings, cheerfully packed into my in-law's small condo.

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My Baby Boy

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Thursday was filled with wedding festivities and a court hearing.

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In the morning, my sister married her sweetie in the LDS Mesa Arizona Temple. It was a great ceremony. I enjoy attending weddings. They remind me of the covenants I made with my Hubby. As great as our wedding day was, it's nothing compared to the wonderful marriage we've shared for these many years.

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With Hubby's back still giving him trouble, I assigned him to take pictures while I managed the kids. I am slightly embarrassed to admit that neither of us did our jobs very well. My kids were so excited to be at the Temple with its sprawling lawns, beautiful gardens, and sparkling pools. They wanted to explore everything. Ey-yah! It was hard to reign them in!

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Meanwhile, Hubby tried to take pictures, but extra people kept popping up just as he snapped them. Or another picture-taker would divert the newlyweds' attention, so Hubby would end up with a shot of their backsides. Here are two of the best pictures he took:

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Our family at the Temple

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The Bride and Groom

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The wedding was followed by a lovely luncheon given by the Groom's family. Then we booked it to the reception hall so Hubby could set up his sound system. He was in charge of the music for the night. The kids and I hauled in his equipment and set it up per his instructions.

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Next we raced back to our hotel, got the kids set watching a movie, and called in to our town's juvenile court. We sat on hold for an HOUR! before being patched through to Mr. J's review and report hearing. Wow! What an intense hearing! I can't tell you what happened due to privacy issues, but let's just say it was Soap Opera worthy. The end result is that Mr. J is going to live with his great-aunt. The transition period begins today.

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Thursday evening was wedding reception held at Regency Gardens. It was a beautiful location. The decor reminded me of my own reception and of my sister-in-law's reception. We both had garden themes. We spent the evening playing with cousins, eating cake, and dancing. It was such fun to see all my siblings together in one place. I truly love my family!

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Grand & Grammy with all their grandchildren.

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The Bride & Groom with the Bride's nieces & nephews .

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Friday morning, after checking out of our hotel, we headed to Grammy's to swim and eat leftover wedding cake. Yum! In the afternoon we drove up to our Strawberry cabin. This part of our adventure was Hubby's Father's day gift. We used the remaining daylight to play, hike, and explore.

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Saturday hiked Tonto Natural Bridge. The bridge is one of my favorite places in Arizona. I have so many great memories of that place. All of the trails are "Steep and Strenuous". Hubby's back was doing better by this point, but with our kids young ages we stuck to the shorter trails.

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Hubby and his kids on the Waterfall Trail

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After the hike we drove into Payson. We got drinks from Sonic (a huge treat since this mom rarely allows soda) and headed to the rodeo grounds. We watched the Arizona Juniors compete. Those kids have such great skill!

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Enjoying the show and the drinks

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My cute baby sleeping in the shade .
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Team Roping

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It quickly grew hot, so we headed to the movies to see "Toy Story 3". It reminded me of "The Brave Little Toaster". The "Toy Story" storyline was much better.

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We drove back home Sunday which, after stopping to wish our Dads a good Father's Day and picking up the two foster kids, took ALL DAY!!! The Baby Jim was not a happy camper after all that travelling.

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Monday was the next big event...Court for Miss Q. We've told her and told her that she needs to be brave and speak up when the judge asks her opinion. She was brave a few months ago and her bravery set several things into motion. Court on Monday saw the fruition of her efforts. Miss Q is going to return to her Mother by the end of the summer. To say Miss Q is excited would be an understatement. The girl is practically vibrating with happiness. Her transition begins tomorrow.

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So...both foster children will be gone by the end of the summer and both have started their transition periods. I love them both dearly and have enjoyed having them in my home, but I am greatly anticipating the day when it will just be me and my Blue children again.

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Well, that is it. My event-filled week. Now I've got to get a bag packed for Mr. J and help Miss Q get her things organized. The transition process has them both spending the weekend with their bio-families. It's nice to see the these two cases going this way, that both kids will end up with family members. Keep you fingers crossed that the transition goes smoothly!

Random Update

I haven't updated for a while. I have put posts up, but they're mostly about Lost. And while my life does slightly revolve around that show, it mostly revolves around my darling children and dear husband. So...in no particular order and with absolutely no pictures, here is an update from the Blue Family:

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1) Spring Break was this past week. For my elementary kids it continues into this week. Miss Q, the lucky high schooler, goes back tomorrow. Wednesday she gets to take the Math AIMS test. Keep her in your prayers!

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2) This past week was also Fair Week. I was going to take the kids myself, but since I was rear-ended Hubby got to spend Wednesday with me instead of going to work. He was supposed to make sure that I took it easy. Poor guy. I drug his cute fanny to the Fair with the kids. Then I sauntered from exhibit to exhibit while he chased the little people around. It was very nice...For Me! ;)

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3) Miss Q entered a painting into the Fine Arts category. She won a third place ribbon. She was shocked. Somehow she didn't make the connection between entering a fair and being judged. She'd never won a ribbon before and was ecstatic!

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4) Rose entered a bag into the Home Economics category. She won a first place ribbon. I think it was the french seams, grommets, and sturdy handle that won the judges over. She made the bag herself, with me just giving the occasional instruction.

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5) Anne entered a skirt into the Home Economics category. She won a first place ribbon. She loves this skirt and wears it often. She was worried that the judges would realize she had worn it and that it wasn't new. Gasp!! I told her that if it was clean the judges would never know. She also worried that those judges would try to sell her skirt to someone else. (In Miss Q's category they sell their stuff.) The judges themselves assured her that the Home Ec category sells nothing. The exact quote: "We spend way too much time making these things to just sell them off like that." Anne is happy to have a blue ribbon and is greatly relieved to have her skirt back in her hands.

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6) I entered the Snow White costume I made last summer for Into the Woods. It won a first place ribbon. The fair judges don't give out just one First place, one Second place, and one Third place. They can give as many of each ribbon as they want. The places are determined by the quality of the work. I was quite pleased that my work earned a blue ribbon.

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7) I also entered a cross-stitch sampler I had made. I was confused when I first saw the ribbon on this one...it was purple. But it said "Outstanding" so I figured it was alright. Turns out, purple is better than blue. Who knew?! I won an award from the town's EGA chapter, Embroidery Guild of America. The award was Ten Dollars cash. How exciting!

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8) We had an earthquake on Easter Sunday. I was kind of ticked by it. I was having some pretty hard contractions that had started to get closer together. Then the ground started shaking and the contractions stopped. Oh well. The quake lasted about a minute or two. The epicenter was many mile away from us. No damage was done. There were several aftershocks during the remainder of the day.

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One of my neighbors wants to move out of here now. The quake really scared her. With what I know of tectonic plates and the earth's shifting movements, an earthquake could happen anywhere. I would much rather deal with a little shaking than some other natural disasters...

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9) I was officially cleared to have this baby any time last Monday. I had another appointment today. I am dilated to 2-3 cm. Which means NOTHING! I have been dilated to 3+ for weeks before I've given birth. I really wish there was an accurate indicator that would tell me when this babe is coming. It would be so much more convenient for me. Haha! Listen to me whine. Sorry about that. I have everything prepared for my kids and for the two Fosters. Babysitters in place, respite plans in place, bags packed. Now I just need some regular contractions 5 - 7 minutes apart or my water to break. ;)

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10) Conference freaked me out. The Saturday sessions were fine, but Sunday morning was NOT! We listened to conference over the internet and I didn't catch the name of the man who gave this particular talk, but...he really freaked me out! He gave a lovely talk about how we shouldn't take offense even when horrible things happen to us. I'm sure that in a few months I will look on this talk as one of my favorites. I have often talked about this very subject in lessons I have given in Sacrament.

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The problem I have with his talk is that he kept talking about women who died in childbirth!!! Aaaaahhh!!!! And the babies died too! After he started talking about the second woman dying, I screamed for Hubby to turn the blasted thing off!!! It was not a very good example to set for my kids, but COME ON! This whole pregnancy I have been extremely worried about either myself or my child dying. Hubby has done his best to reassure me that we'll be okay, but I'm still nervous about stuff.

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Luckily, the man's talk ended a few minutes after my outburst. I kind of zoned out after that, trying to get a grip on myself. I came back when the Prophet began to speak. Holy Guacamole!! That dear man, whom I love and sustain with all my heart, started talking about dying too! He spoke of how it was alright and how we would be together again someday. And I just couldn't take it. I don't want to be together someday with my family. I want to be together NOW. I do not want to die. I do not want my babe to die. Again, I'm sure I will look back on this talk in a few months and really appreciate his words. But as my dear Prophet was speaking, I was praying that his talk would end and end soon. Gah!

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The afternoon session was a bust for me because I just kept replaying the first speaker's and the Prophet's words about death and wondering if it was an omen...a warning to me to get myself ready. Hubby has done his best to tell me I'm crazy and am not going to die. I am trying really hard to believe him. Too bad my hormonal state with this pregnancy is a worried mess. Last pregnancy I was just grouchy about everything. Little things would irritate me greatly. I think I would rather be grouchy and irritable than paranoid and worried. :(

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11) I finally have some of my South African souvenirs out on display. They have been sitting in my memory box since my Grandparents returned from their mission back in 1987. Now they are on display in my kitchen. I will take pictures and post them at some point. Just not today.

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Well, that's all I can think of right now. All the Blue's are happy and healthy. We are just counting down to the baby's arrival. Tomorrow marks 15 days to Zero. Wish me luck...Oh! And if I do die, make sure to tell my kids how much I loved them. Hubby already knows how much I love him, but little kids tend to forget and my kids are just little enough that some of them might not remember at all.

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Did I mention that I am slightly paranoid and worried???

The Grass is Not Always Greener...

Yesterday was not a fabulous day for my little pregnant self.

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I had a severe headache that turned my whole face into a big grimacing mess. I could only look down. If I looked up at anyone, the headache shot down my neck.

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Braxton-Hicks contractions decided to kick things up a notch. They came on full-force, lasting anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes. Of course everyone knows that Braxton's are just fake contractions and so don't really hurt. Ummm...I think my Braxton's forgot.

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Yesterday was Sunday. Sunday means church. I thought I could make it. I thought that if I just got up and got going I would feel better.

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I was wrong. I just barely muddled through.

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After copying the ward bulletin, the headache hit so hard that I started to tear up. I quickly made my way to the bathroom so no one would see me crying.

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One sister caught me. She asked how I was doing. I gave her my best grimace/smile, told her I was fine, and ducked into the bathroom. The dear woman, who is a trained massage therapist, waited for me outside the bathroom. She firmly told me to follow her, sit down, and relax. She then proceeded to massage my scalp for a few minutes. Not enough to end the headache, but enough to take away the biting edge. It was lovely. More lovely was the fact that she actually took the time to help me. That thought gave me great comfort.

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Later on in Primary I laughed at my silly self while watching another dear sister wrestle with the Sunbeam class. She wasn't their regular teacher. She was a member of the Primary Presidency pinch-hitting when the regular teacher didn't show up.

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(I have to mention...She was dressed to the nines! Every time she got up to chase another Sunbeam down, the seamstress in me marvelled at how beautifully her skirt flared, swirled, and flowed behind her and how well the dress suited her frame.)

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When I first moved from nursery to teaching primary, I thought it would make sense to move me up with the Sunbeam class. After all, I had just taught them for a year. They knew me and I knew them. I thought we would get along swimmingly.

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Sitting in the back of the room with my CTR 7 class who sat reverently, answered respectfully, and payed attention throughout the sharing time, I thanked my Heavenly Father that a wise Primary President put me where she did. As my head pounded and my uterus contracted, I watched as the Sunbeams put their poor substitute through her paces. I was amazed at her fortitude and so glad that it Wasn't Me dealing with those energetic children of God!!

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At the end of church, I rounded up the kids. We were just missing Hubby and Mr. J. After waiting a few minutes, I trudged back into church to see if Hubby was trying to find kids I'd already secured. Nope. He was sitting in his missionary correlation meeting. The same meeting he attends every Sunday after church. In my misery, I had completely forgotten about it. But the dear man took one look at my miserable state, excused himself from the meeting, and drove us all home. I've known men who are not so compassionate as this. I'm grateful my husband IS!

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Once home, I needed to eat something and go to bed. Rose, Anne, and Joe jumped right in cleaning up the kitchen, making lunch, and getting potatoes washed for dinner. Hubby got Cakes and Mr. J changed and settled. It was wonderful! Of course, I still felt horrible, but my heart was light and happy.

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The grass in my yard is very green. Very green indeed! :)

Grateful

Last year many of my friends participated in a Thanksgiving challenge on their blogs. Each day in November they were to write about one thing for which they were grateful. It made my heart glad to read their entries. I haven't seen this challenge circulating this year and only thought of it when I was trying to cheer myself up this weekend. The old "Count Your Blessings" trick is pretty consistent with its results. In that spirit, I wanted to list a few of the things I am grateful for this year.

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1) My dear Hubby. He is such a great friend and companion.

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2) My four kind and interesting kids. I'm so grateful that my kids are interesting! They like to explore, go on adventures, and learn new things. Hooray!

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3) My house. I'm still getting used to it, but having four good-sized bedrooms is fabulous.

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4) Quilts! How else are you going to keep warm in the winter? And nothing beats a quilt to snuggle up in while watching a movie or hanging on your wall to beautify your home.

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5) Books. I love reading and learning. I am especially grateful that I am no longer in school and can read for pleasure again. So far I've read Beowulf, a couple of books on the 1972 Munich Olympics massacre, and Yoni's Last Battle: The Rescue at Entebbe 1976. It is wonderful to read a book, learn from it, think about and digest the content, and NOT write a five to ten page essay dissecting it!

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6) How National Adoption Day was celebrated in my little town. Our two family judges worked hard all last Friday. They conducted 30 adoptions! Isn't that wonderful? Reading the stories of a few of the families that participated made my heart happy.

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7) Trees. I adore trees. Particularly fruit trees. In my backyard alone I have a lime, lemon, grapefruit, Arizona sweet orange, tangerine, Anna apple, Dorset apple, plum, and peach tree. I had an apricot tree, but it didn't survive the Arizona summer. In the spring one of my apple trees produced three little apples. This winter, my lime tree produced one lime-which was picked prematurely-and my orange tree has about twenty oranges on it. They are currently a light orange. We have to wait a few more weeks for the orange color to deepen then they'll be ready to eat. Yum!

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8) Being outdoors. I am fascinated with the world around me. It drives my kids and Hubby nuts, but I am content sitting outside all day just observing nature. Watching the clouds drift and change, the leaves move with the wind, the birds flying overhead, insects moving in the grass, a spider building a web...I love it all!

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9) The Sonoran Desert. What a beautiful place to live. I feel so lucky to be here.

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10) Variety. Wasn't our Father in Heaven wise when he designed such a diverse earth and population. Deserts and Rain Forests. Tropical Islands and Mountain Ranges. Horses and Tigers. Elephants and Ants. And of course the variety of personalities in the peoples of this planet. It's just so interesting! I am grateful for interesting things. :)

Family Motto

After much deliberation, we have decided on our Family Motto. I've been saying this for years, but it only recently occurred to me to use it as our family's motto. Here it is:

Love is a Verb and Happiness is a Choice.

Very simple and very true.

A Note on Love:

So many people think that Love is a feeling. It's not. It is a verb. And an action verb at that. When Christ said to "Love One Another" he did not mean for us to just feel love for everybody. We are supposed to put that love into action. You may not feel love towards everybody, but you have to show love to everyone. How do you do that?? There are many ways. Being kind, courteous, and polite shows love. Helping out, serving others, smiling, visiting, sharing, and on and on and on. There are a million ways to put LOVE into Action!

A Note on Happiness:

Again, many people think that happiness is just a feeling that you have no control over. As if it were some extraneous thing, just out of reach, unless someone brings it to you. NO!!! Happiness is an attitude; one that you have complete control over. Sure, things can come along to make it difficult to be happy. There are many trials in this life that can bring you low. But even amidst your greatest trials, you can have a good attitude. It's a choice. And it's YOUR responsibility. No one but YOU can make YOU happy. I have heard many people complain that they are not happy because this is going on or that is happening. Or they don't have this or that. When I hear comments like that, I just chuckle inside because I think of Job or the Pioneers or Miss Corrie Ten Boom's Sister. They had severe trials, yet each of them chose to have a good attitude, be grateful for those things they did have, and to Be Happy. They are great examples of choosing Happiness.

(Now this does not apply to people who have depression. That is a separate issue entirely. And deciding not to have depression...well, the idea that you can just decide to not have depression anymore is just silly!)

A Note on Punctuation:

At first, I ended the motto with an exclamation point. After thinking it over, I decided a period would be more appropriate. A period indicates that this sentence is a statement. And that is how I'd like my family to think of our motto...as a statement.