Carmex

A few weeks ago, the corner of my lip started to hurt a bit.  I could tell that a cold sore was trying to start.  For my body, the thing that works best to prevent cold sores is Carmex.  It is a great product that has worked reliably for me for many years.  So I went to my bathroom drawer to retrieve my Carmex. It wasn't there. Then I remembered, I had used the last of it a month earlier.  

When I purchase soap, lotion, and lip balm, I typically purchase them in bulk.  I put one out on the bathroom counter or in the bathroom drawer, depending on the item, then put the rest of the items in an overstock container under the bathroom sink.  I checked the overstock container.  No Carmex!  I knew I had purchase at least one other little jar.  I thought and thought about where that back-up jar could be.  Then I remembered.  When "J", a 14-year old young man, had lived with us last year his lips started to develop cold sores.  I had given him my last overstock jar and had failed to purchase a replacement.

I went to my teenage daughter, asking her if she had any Carmex.  Nope.

I went to my teenage son, asking him is he had any Carmex.  Nope.

I would have to drive to the store.  The corner of my lip was starting to have a prickling sensation and I knew I needed to get some anti-cold sore stuff on it quickly.

Then I remembered!

Dad always has Carmex in his top drawer!

So I ran back to my bedroom, went to Jeremy's dresser, and opened the top drawer.  I searched through Jeremy's entire drawer.  There was no Carmex.  I was so disappointed.  I was also confused.  Dad always kept Carmex in his top drawer.  He was never without at least one jar.

And then it dawned on me.

Dad always had Carmex.

Not Jeremy.

Dad.

As in, MY Dad.  My actual father.

I started laughing at myself.  

I have called Jeremy "Dad" for nineteen years.  He has been "Dad" and I have been "Mom" for almost two decades.  We started calling each other that when we became parents and were teaching our babies what to call us.  But the "Dad" who always had Carmex in his top dresser drawer, that man's name is Dennis. 

A week later, my Dad came to Yuma to visit.  When I told my Dad this story, he laughed and laughed.  He thought it was hilarious.  He also had some sympathy.  He's called his wife, my mother, "Mom" for about four decades now.  They've had a few confusing episodes over the years too.

Such a funny thing.  

My Dad did let me know that he DOES have a jar of Carmex sitting in his top dresser drawer back at his house.  He also told me that he wouldn't have let me use his jar because I have "cooties". Silly man!

Anniversary Musings

I am usually a private person when it comes to certain things. However, I have been feeling impressed to share some thoughts. I have found that it is good to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

The 21st anniversary of our family occurred this past week. In 21 years our family has grown from two people to nine people. We have lived in nine different homes in four different cities. We have had several heated disagreements over the years and we have had many wonderful times of great joy. The best piece of advice we got as we were preparing for marriage was this:

"Love one another. Love is a Verb." Love is not just some feeling of endearment or affability that you feel for a particular person. Love is work. Love is choice. When Jesus commanded us to love one another, He was not commanding us to be infatuated with one another. Love, in this context, was an action verb. Love is this context means to serve and help one another, to be kind and respectful to one another, to keep hanging on and being loyal and true to one another. The Commandment to love one another is vital in the marital relationship. There will be days when you honestly do not like the person that you are married to and you may wonder how you could have made such a terrible choice as to bind yourself to them. It is on those days and in those moments when things are hard that it is most important to remember what True Love is. True Love is service, helping, kindness, respect, loyalty, and fidelity to your partner. True Love sometimes requires sacrifice and often requires humility. True Love is hard work at times. Fortunately, True Love is usually rewarding work--though the rewards may take days, weeks, or even months to show themselves.

Jeremy and I have had ups and downs in our marriage. There have been days when we have both been ready to call it quits. And on those days we remember the advice we were given: Love one another. Love is a Verb."

Sometimes we've had to walk around the block a few times to calm down. Sometimes we've had to sit ourselves down in timeout. Sometimes we just had to ignore each other for a couple of days. But we always come back. We keep on Loving each other even on days that we don't quite Like each other. And that, I think, has made all the difference in our relationship. I think we are stronger today then we have ever been, both as a couple and as individual people, because we keep coming back. We keep trying. The Lord truly works all things for our good. He will turn our weaknesses into strengths, If We Let Him. He will lead us and guide us and walk beside us, If We Let Him. Because that is the other important part of all of this: The Lord needs to be a part of your relationship.

I hope this doesn't come off as preachy. As I said at the beginning, I have been feeling prompted to share certain thoughts. Celebrating Twenty-One years of marriage has made me a bit introspective regarding this topic.

Happy Anniversary Jeremy.

Open Letter

Dear Yuma County & Arizona Residents,

During the past week I have heard some very negative and very divisive statements regarding the #RedForEd movement. The thing that astounds me is that these negative and divisive comments are coming from within the movement and are directed toward other members of the movement.

Today some Educators chose to Walk-OUT to show their support of Education and their Students. Today some Educators chose to Walk-IN to show their support of Education and their Students. Today some Schools closed in order to support their Educators and their Students. Today some Schools remained open in order to support their Educators and their Students. The astounding thing is that there are people from each side who feel passionately, and vociferously, that the other side chose incorrectly in how they demonstrated their support.

This divisiveness and negativity from within the movement brings to mind "The Butter Battle Book" by Dr. Seuss. Within that book, two groups (the Yooks and the Zooks who have a great many similarities to each other) become entrenched in a disagreement regarding the correct way to butter bread. It is a wonderful book that most Educators have read. I would implore our Educators to remember the tale of the Yooks and the Zooks and to apply its lessons in this situation.

Please have compassion and understanding for those Educators who chose to demonstrate their support in a manner different from your won. Please stop berating your colleagues or trying to shame them because you choose to butter your bread Butter-Side-Down and they choose to butter their bread Butter-Side-Up. Both Choices still give you a lovely slice of bread with a smear of butter. Both Choices give your mouth a treat as you chew and satisfy your tummy once swallowed.

So whether you and your colleagues decided to butter your bread today Butter-Side-Up or Butter-Side-Down, please remember that the important thing is that Both Sides chose to have a slice of bread with a smear of butter. Please be kind and respectful to your fellow Educators, even though they may have chosen to demonstrate differently than you. Each member of the #RedForEd movement is supporting the cause in the manner they think best for themselves and for their Students. We have enough opposition from without; Please stop allowing this movement to have division from within. Let's start supporting our colleagues in their choices even though they may differ from our own choices.

Please remember that we are Stronger Together!

Sincerely,

Sarah

Mother to a Bunch of Kids

P.S. I am not saying that the divisiveness within this movement is going to lead to a nuclear catastrophe. I am saying that the divisiveness is unnecessary and should be curbed.

Transplanting Trees

The following post has sat, uncompleted, in my draft box for about eight years. It is about transplanting trees. I had initially written out detailed instructions for proper transplantation. I had spent several hours over a span of days writing instructions, drawing diagrams that I then scanned and pasted into the post. It was going to be great. I only had a few paragraphs to finish when my computer had a hiccup and the post was gone! I was able to recover a partially completed draft, but that was it. Everything else was lost. And I was too disheartened to redo the work. I put it in my draft folder. And there it say until tonight. I hope you enjoy. Changes and additions that I am making today will be in italics.

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I love fruit trees. Planting and maintaining them is one of the joys in my life. When we moved into our Yuma house, I planted several fruit trees. However, after living there a while, Jeremy began talking about adding on a family room...right were I had planted my apple trees! He told me not to worry about it, that we wouldn't be adding on for a few years, if ever.

The problem is, transplanting trees can be a tricky operation. Younger trees are easier to move and more likely to recover from the transplant. Older trees have more expansive root balls. They've also become accustomed to the ground in which they are planted. I have seen older trees that were thriving in their original location shrivel up when moved to a new location. In order to ensure their survival, we had to move the apple trees while they were still young. 

We waited until the trees had gone dormant for the winter. A tricky thing in Arizona! Often, apple trees never fully go dormant in our warm weather. 

Picture of the smaller apple tree. I mistakenly watered this tree a day or two before we moved it. I thought it would make the ground easier to maneuver. I was correct. BUT it also made the rootball heavier! All that water added a lot of weight to the rootball.

Benjamin (age 5/6?) and Grant (age 2?). They are now 13 yr & 10 yr respectively.

Picture of the larger apple tree. To safely transplant the rootball, first you dig a donut our around the rootball. Then you can get your shovel under it while keeping the rootball intact.

Keeping the rootball intact. This thing weighed several hundred pounds.

To give perspective, when we removed the tree with its rootball Benjamin and some of our neighbors got in the hole. It is a big hole!

The rootball was so heavy and awkward to manuever. We called a bunch of our neighbors to come and help us. In order to keep the rootball intact, I wrapped a blanked around and under it. Professional people use canvas to do this part. 

It took five grown men to lift the tree from the handtruck to place it in its new home in the front yard.

At this point, the neighbor in the red shirt said something along the lines of: "I can't believe it took five of us to lift that tiny tree. I feel like such a wimp." Hahaha! He's not a wimp. And neither were any of the other guys that helped us. They were all great workers. Dirt just weighs a lot!

The large apple tree in its new home, waiting to be backfilled.

Baby Grant watching Jeremy backfill around the rootball. 

There were other pictures of the trees, along with diagrams. Sadly, those were lost all those years ago. We have since sold that house. The large apple tree still stands in the yard. Its trunk is quite thick now and it produces the most lovely little yellow apples. I hope the new owners will cherish the tree as much as I did. 

Generosity

My two oldest daughters are signed up for their high school's travel-abroad trip planned for Spring 2017. They are primarily responsible for paying for this trip. The trip, plus passports, will cost about $3,500.00 each! I had several boxes of chocolate leftover from a PTO fundraiser. We decided to make chocolate part of our fundraising plan. Jim, Monroe, and Beth wanted to help too. I was grateful because, in my experience, people are more likely to buy chocolate bars from cute little elementary students than from adult-sized high school students.

We've gone out a few times for about 1 to 1 1/2 hours each time. I am amazed at the generosity of my neighbors. Sure, we got several straight "No, thank you" responses. We got a few "I don't have any cash" responses. But for the most part the response was, "Of course! Wait a minute while I find some cash/change". These dear neighbors reached into their wallets. A few neighbors bought five or ten bars, depending on the bill denomination they'd found. More often they would buy only one or two bars. These neighbors were digging through their drawers and coin purses to find enough change to buy a bar. As I watched one neighbor present my child with a handful of change in exchange for one chocolate bar, I was overwhelmed by the generosity of my neighbors! 

I know that in our present culture, cash is typically not kept on hand. We rely heavily on debit and credit cards. People don't have cash or coins. And yet, these dear neighbors dug deep in their pockets and drawers to find a stray dollar bill or a few coins--Just to help a fundraising kid succeed. I probably haven't adequately explained, but I am unsure what more I could write. I am simply and deeply grateful for the gracious generosity of my neighbors.

Good-Bye to the Piano Man

We said good-bye to our Piano-Man Teacher tonight. He is a lovely man. He has worked with four of my kids for over a year. He had a talent for teaching chords, improvisations, and embellishments, in addition to the basics of piano theory and technique. He came to our house each week with such a cheerful and can-do attitude. It really was wonderful to watch the kids grow, under his tutelage, in their piano-playing skills.

But, the kids are done. While they enjoyed learning with the Piano-Man Teacher, over the last few months their hearts have not been in it. I know that I could have buttoned down and forced them to practice more. I know that I could have provided incentives for their continued participation. I am consciously choosing not to. 

Rose is in the high school choir this year. She has spent hours each day in vocal practice. She sits at the piano, not to practice the Piano Teacher's assignments, but rather to pick out the Alto part of the new choir piece she is learning. Her interests have turned from piano to voice. And I'm going to let her run with it.

Nonny is still a percussionist in the middle school band. Between that and the rigor of her school courses, she is feeling a bit strained. She still loves piano and wants to continue to progress and learn. But she's at a point where she wants to concentrate on learning individual piano pieces rote. And I can help with that! So she has also opted to forgo piano lessons.

Monroe and Joe still love piano, but after a long day of sitting at school all they want to do when they get home is run and play. Sitting for another half hour or so to practice piano has become awful for them.

The truth is, I felt kind of bad about signing them up for piano lessons in the first place. The reason...  I play piano and I have taught piano. But when I tried to teach them some basics, they would get frustrated with me and with themselves. I talked to my Mom about it years ago. My Mom is a talented pianist, but she didn't teach her own kids to play the piano. She had other people do it. Her reason...her kids (ie. me and my siblings) would get frustrated with her and with ourselves. When she first realized that, she and another piano teacher decided to swap kids. My Mom taught that gal's kids piano and that gal taught us piano. And surprise, surprise: the kids started learning the piano instead of getting into fights with their Moms.

Although I will miss the Piano-Man and the beautiful music he brought into our home, I think we'll be alright. He gave my kids the fundamentals. He encouraged them to find joy and fun in the piano, to not be afraid to make things up, and to not fall apart if you made mistakes. My kids may be done with the Piano-Man, but they are definitely not done with the piano. We are going to restart piano lessons with Mom.

Wish us luck!

At Home Day

Nonny's surgery went well. Her septum is now straight; Her enlarged adenoids are removed; and her nasal turbinates are reduced. She was amazed when the doctor removed the packing and she could actually breathe through her nose! That only lasted for a little while. The reason: due to the surgery, she can't blow her nose and she is having some drainage & bleeding. SO...she has gauze under her nose to catch the mess.

The surgery was Tuesday. I took the day off from work to stay with her and care for her. (Except for an excursion to the School Board Meeting in the evening.) Wednesday was Veteran's Day, so everyone was off from work and school. Today, Thursday, school and work resumed, so Dad, Rose, Joe, Monroe, and Jim are gone. I was supposed to go into work today. Baby comes with me and Beth attends preschool. But...I didn't think Nonny was ready to be left alone yet. So Beth, Baby, and I stayed home with her. 

She slept until about 9:00 a.m. When she woke up and saw us still here, she was happy and relieved. She did not want to be left alone, but also didn't want me to feel like I had to stay. Goofy kid! Some of her friends' parents work. She knows that it is a big deal for parents to stay home with sick kids and that jobs can sometimes be at stake. Lucky for us, my boss's main priorities are the same as mine...Our Kids! :)  

Hubby forwarded the work phone to my cell phone. My work tasks for today are to monitor e-mails and update the business finances. Easy-peasy! I figured I'd work on those once the baby fell asleep. But while he was still awake, I thought: Since I'm home, I might as well start a load of laundry. Which took all of one minute. Then I looked at the dishwasher. It hadn't been unloaded this morning (a certain kid's chore). Usually I'd leave it for the kid to do when they got home, but our dishes are already backed up because our sink wasn't working for a few days. So I went ahead and unloaded the dishwasher, reloaded and started it, then hand-washed a load of dishes, and cleaned the sink. That took about ten minutes with Melanie's help. I also took a few minutes to pick up the kitchen and dining room floors. 

NOW...my house is still a big mess. It is far from complete. But I can feel the difference. AND it is kind of irritating because it took hardly anytime at all AND every job I did was supposed to have been done by a kid. EXCEPT, my kids didn't do those chores because the chores were too hard or too long or I always make them do the work. The funny thing is, while I was pregnant, I was too sick and tired to follow through on the kids getting their chores done. So my house slowly got grungier. And after I had the baby I was too sleep-deprived to even notice if the house was clean. And since going to work, by the time I return home in the evenings I am so focused on getting dinner made, kids' homework complete, scriptures read, fights resolved, etc., that I haven't stood my ground and made the kids actually get their chores done. And I've been too tired to get them done myself. 

Today, staying home to care for Nonny and having my two youngest children with me, I was able to catch up on some housework while spending quality time with the kiddos. Now, my house has a long ways to go before it can be officially deemed "clean", but I can see that it's possible and I am recommitted to the priority of teaching my kids the value of Hard Work and Cleanliness!